Okay, now. Where were we?

I now weigh 223 lbs. That is 107 lbs from my highest weight and 77 lbs from the weight I was when I began this process. I am wearing the size I wore my senior year of high school. I suspect my wedding dress would be a bit baggy.

All this weight loss makes a person reminiscent of the past - of the time when I weighed this much or even less. 25 lbs from here is the weight I had on my first driver's license; although I lied about my weight then. I don't remember how much I weighed, but I said 197 just to keep it under 200. I think my next goal might be to actually BE 197 lbs.

Of course, goals and plans get set aside from time to time in our lives. That's okay. I was set to have surgery to remove an offending organ from my body on the 18th of July, but after a second blood transfusion, my doctor and I decided it might not be a good idea to wait any longer so I had a hysterectomy on the 7th of July.

When we first made the decision, I told people about the upcoming surgery and was surprised to hear concerns over weight gain - not necessarily my weight gain, but weight gain after surgery in general or their weight gain. I started researching on the internet about my surgery to put my mind at ease and make sure I knew everything I needed to know and came across a plethora of concerns about weight gain related to surgery as well.

All I can think is who cares!? Why are we so concerned about weight that we freak out at the idea of gaining a little after surgery? If it was elective surgery or cosmetic surgery, sure. You don't want to be further behind, but whether you are at a healthy weight or not; whether you are on a diet or not, just worry about getting better, not weight. This is all, imo, part of this system where we focus TOO much on weight and not enough on HEALTH. These are not always synonymous despite popular belief.

I can walk around, but not for long before I feel some pain. I eat what's brought to me and since we have such generous and lovely family and friends, many delectable dishes have been brought. I craved tapioca and butterscotch pudding so my husband bought me tapioca and butterscotch pudding. It's not an excuse to overindulge in fatty food or eat too much, but frankly, I don't care if I gain some weight. I'll just lose it again when I'm on my feet. I have faith now. I know from experience that it's not that hard. This is life.

Of course, the problems I've been having definitely explain a small portion of why I kept losing weight and not feeling better. Admittedly, it was making me bitter to lose weight, eat better, know better, have confidence that I can accomplish things and yet to feel trapped because I never knew what my body was going to do. Would I bleed heavy that day? Would I have pain? I didn't know from hour to hour, let alone day to day.

Now, thankfully, it's over! That stupid fibroid that was causing increased problems over the last year is gone. I can't wait to see what life is going to bring once I'm up and around again.