Reflection.

I'm just reflecting on what makes a good day.  Yesterday was a good day.  We did a few fun things that involved exercise.  I twisted my ankle, but today has proven it's not as bad as I feared (swollen, tender, but clearly not anything too serious).  We spent time with awesome people during the afternoon and then again at night.  We ate fondue and seven layer dip for dinner.  

When you are on a weight loss plan, you forget that good days should not be measured by how far you walked or how many minutes you spent doing aerobics.  Instead it should be remembered as walking to the school and playing on the playground set with your kids. A good day is not one in which you only ate your allotted calories with specified ratio of fats to protein and number of vegetables.  It should be remembered as enjoying that seven layer dip and fondue because it is so rare that you eat those things, it becomes a treat.

This is the most difficult part of the balance.  Weight loss is not a life style change unless you want to become a person whose good days and bad days are measured by what you ate and how much you exercised instead of how much you enjoyed your foods and who you spent time with.  The part that can be "lifestyle" related is integrating these things into your day.

It becomes bigger than the rut we fall into.  First, you find yourself coming home from work, turning in the television, and only turning it off to go to bed.  Society demonizes this as laziness.  A person who comes home and reads all night is just as lazy, but more accepted because in the end, it isn't about laziness.  It is about forming a habit that does not lead to social interaction.  If you have a significant other or kids, it is so  much easier to bond with them by having the daily habit of following work with a nice long walk or a game of Let's Dance on the Wii.  If you live alone, find someone else who lives alone and create a walking group.

I would still love more interaction with my spouse than what we have now, but it has been a great stride toward that simply by finding opportunities to spend more time away from the house.  One of the ways we do that is by going for our walks which get longer as our health improves.

Second, the rut becomes wanting those thing we enjoy eating more and more often.  By not eating those things, when we do treat ourselves, they taste ten times better.  Laying off is not only about what we put into our bodies for health, it is also a way to enjoy those things even more.  The funny part is that some of the fatty foods don't taste good to me at all now so even fewer of the things I once enjoyed are things I even want when I am heading for a treat.

So again, I reiterate, it isn't a lifestyle change.  It is a mentality.  Start thinking differently and eventually that is the way you will think.  Act differently and eventually it is the way you will act.

I am trying to put my thoughts into words.  We have used the term "maintaining" and the phrase "taking a break" to explain where we are at right now.  People want to know what we are doing to lose weight because it doesn't seem to be working right now.  Well, we could say that we are watching what we eat and  continuing our activity levels in order to maintain, but for me, at least, that isn't exactly true.  I am not gaining weight, it is true, but I check it less often because I'm not going anywhere very quickly.  Maybe it is taking a break, but it's mostly taking a break from thinking about it.  The habit of a daily walk is now so necessary and refreshing that we go for the walk every day because we want fresh air and to escape the mundane house.  We eat what we want and I try to steer my tastes toward things that aren't too salty or sweet so that when I am at a holiday party (of which there will be many this season!) I can enjoy the variety provided there.  We are not on a maintenance plan, we are simply sitting in a general weight range because we now think differently enough about what we eat and what activities we do that we can just rest on those new habits.

This could easily become falling back into old habits, of course, so a small amount of thought does go into  those things each day.  It is still good to monitor the weight and use it as a reminder that we don't want to fall back into those bad habits.  

We do intend to return to the more strict regime in the future.  I won't use the holidays as an excuse because we did pretty well during the holidays last year, but I think we just felt so burned out by the constant thoughts, that we need to remember who we are without the weight loss before we will feel ready to push ourselves again.  That's okay.  You wouldn't think so because of the sheer number of people who ask what we're doing now, how much we've lost recently, and, of course (my pet peeve) offering unsolicited advice on how we can lose more, but it really is okay!

It has always been my advice to take yourself away from a situation that is burning you out if you can because it only takes willpower to return.  Willpower is difficult at time, but in the end, you have control over it.  If you continue to push and push, you will burn out completely and never return.  In fact, it is my belief that burning out completely is what leads to a return of bad habits more quickly - because you worked too hard and now all your brain wants are the things that are bad for you.  It is better to keep yourself in check and if you can't think about it right now, just step away and return refreshed instead of keeping your head in the game until you just can't think about it anymore.

Product testing

We bought Dr. Praeger's veggie burgers at Costco because they haven't had Boca Burgers for a while.  Hoping to save a few bucks from buying them at Target, we thought it might be worth a try.  Scott had them once at a work barbecue and thought they were not bad, but without the "atmosphere" he found them a little less tasty.  They taste a bit like egg rolls and are really not bad to taste, but I put cheese on mine and that was definitely a mistake.  I think they would be a great ingredient to something else, but I would not recommend them as a burger substitute as I would with a Boca Burger.  Scott and I are going to try the rest in a few recipes and if we come up with something tasty and low calorie, we'll be sure to fill you in!

More things no one ever mentions...

When you lose a substantial amount of weight, you're left with all this skin.  It hangs, puckers, and flops, but just keep remembering, there less fat in there.  Aside from aesthetics, though, come the laws of motion.

First we worked on getting out there; going for walks.  Next we increased distance.  Finally, we felt the need to increase speed, but by now we've lost so much weight that as we move, the excess keeps going.  It's a weird and uncomfortable feeling to have your thigh skin and muscles trying to continue backward when it's time to move forward.  It's this indescribable annoyance of walking with hanging flesh.  It actually feels like you are working against yourself and therefore can't quite reach the high speeds of walking you might otherwise want to do.  Interesting.  I wouldn't have predicted the feeling...

But who can afford surgery to get rid of it?  Certainly not me.  Le sigh.

DIY Delicious

My newest acquisition is quite exciting, though it will involve more work.  I got a meat grinder which means I can grind my own turkey and chicken.  Having seen the price per pound rise steadily as people switch to ground turkey and chicken for health reasons while whole turkey and chicken remain about the same (increasing, yes, but not nearly as quickly) I had the thought that grinding my own couldn't be too hard.  HA HA!  I have taken meat off chicken before, but to do all that, then grind it and see the amount left was a bit exhausting.  I am still thrilled, though, because I can add my own seasonings, do a bunch when they are on sale, freeze it, and still be prepared without spending exorbitant amounts. Besides, it give me the freedom to cut away as much fat as possible.  I expect industrial grinders throw in everything except the bone so in theory, mine could be a bit leaner.  Let's not even mention the possible preservatives and salts that can be added without you really noticing.  It's not something I fret about - partly because the same things could possibly be in the whole foods we buy as well - but I will still convince myself that it's a step in the right direction and I'm nothing if not a proponent for baby steps!

I intend to figure out how to make vegetarian or even vegan sausage, etc. as well so we can hit the farmer's market in summer and create beautiful dishes.

We made stuffed peppers for our Halloween party with the chicken we ground as our trial run.  Adding a few ingredients, I noticed that almost everyone gobbled it down.  At least I can rest assured that it wasn't terrible tasting... YAY!

My obligation ends right here...

Between my husband and myself, we have lost a lot of weight.  We have given advice, talked about how we did it, and been a great example.  We have shown that two people who are quite obese can lose a lot of weight.  We have rebooted out lives.

But our obligation ends right outside our own skin.  Lately, we haven't been losing much.  Well, Scott's lost a little more, but I've been fluctuating within a ten pound range.  Every time we see people, they ask how much more we have lost.  Well, not much recently.  I know we have been open and seem happy to accept your praise, but I am not thin.  Scott is not thin.  We are still not obligated to "you" to lose more weight.

Some of the reactions we get - I know are very well meaning - make me feel unacceptable.  I don't really care what you think, but at the same time, "sometimes you need a break" is not as supportive as you think.  To me, you are saying "You don't look good enough yet.  Lose more."  Like I care.  I do look good.  I want to lose more and I know I'll be ready to recommit soon, but I realize I need to stop pressuring myself to make that commitment today or tomorrow.

It's a heady feeling to have people say you look great, but I'm also not obligated to be grateful for every compliment.  I'm done with obligations.

I just want it to be really clear that we are allowed to take an extended break.  I also hope people out there who may be reading know it's okay to take a break as long as you feel like it's a good place to do so... We've had enough success at this point to appreciate the break.

A few words about depression.

About 5 years ago when I joined Curves, they gave me a book.  I brought it home and it sat around for a couple of months before I read it and when I finally did, I found a lot of information I had heard before.  After years of being overweight, you become an arm chair expert on losing weight whether you like it or not.  Everyone has advice.  Pretty soon you start sorting out the information based on source and practicality.  The rest of it gets filed away and dismissed because it's a bunch of hooey.  Still, you hear it all.  The book had very little "new" information to share, but it did start out by offending me with its chapter about how eating is immature because it is giving in.  Whatever!  It's called survival instinct whether a person overeats or not.  It's about limits.  Calling eaters immature is a rude, bullying tactic - something I recognize quickly after years of school bullying.

Anyway, at the end of the book, it claimed to be reporting a series of studies showing how exercise affected depression.  The source they used had three groups; one that was on anti-depressant medication, one which combined medication and exercise, and the third used exercise alone to control depression.  According to them, of course, because we must sell, sell, sell the gym, they reported that the third group had the most success.

I've dealt with depression, too, and have gotten pretty damn good at hiding it.  I've heard eating right and exercise is all a person needs to get over it.  I've heard many things relating the two, actually.  Reading it in that book gave me so much hope - I pinned everything on it.

Today I would like to say to all those people who say exercise will help with depression: You are all liars.  LIARS.  After a number of months at  Curves, the depression started to settle in.  I tried doing things for other people.  I tried eating better.  I tried exercising even more.  I feel sure it wasn't related to my weight or weight loss because it wasn't something that came up when I felt bad, nor did thinking about those things make me feel worse.  I just felt blue, then down, then worse and nothing helped.  Nothing in my life gave cause for this (just to dispell people who think only when bad things happen to a person do they have the right to be depressed) it was just there like a dark shadow.

Well, maybe I have reason now, but my life is pretty good.  I have kept exercising great.  Yeah, I haven't been perfect on my diet, but I'm not eating a ton of bad stuff (except when I'm at parties.  I don't know what it is, but I'm allowing myself to indulge when I'm in a party setting more than I had been).  At home and most of the time, I eat within my calories and even when I go over, there are quite a few great things I'm eating so the bad isn't a bunch of Twinkies or potato chips.  Still, it's been bad.  Bad enough that I look back at that time at Curves and look at things now and have two cases where I can confirm YOU ARE ALL LIARS.  It is ridiculous to think a fat person is depressed because of how they eat or how much they exercise.  No one would accuse a skinny person of the same thing.

I don't want to talk about it too much, really, but trying to claw my way out is just as exhausting as being depressed in the first place.  Still, I think I've pretty well established my reluctance for medical help no matter how bad things get.  Hey, next time I almost bleed to death, I promise to go to a hospital.

Seasons

This is one of my favourite times of year... now that I'm a "walker" that is.  I have found that nearly the entire day is perfect for walking in the early spring and again in early fall or whatever you would call this week.  I wouldn't pick 4 in the afternoon when it's about 80, but from early morning as the sun rises (pick your timing and watch the sun rise as you walk!  GORGEOUS!) until noon and again from after work hours until sunset (which is also lovely to watch as you walk...more clouds this time of year to create quite the show most evenings) are just right, temperature-wise.

It is my opinion that if you want to start a new exercise routine, you pick now.  There is really no excuse.  It's not hot and sweaty.  You can't possibly get too cold if you walk fast enough.  Get in the habit before you have to start wearing snow boots and bundling up.  If you start now, by the time the weather gets that cold, you'll already feel that you <i>need</i> your daily walk.

Bad Blogger, No Treat...

I haven't been great about updating, I know.  Now that we've figured out a lot of things, there isn't as much to say, even though I never got around to covering all the things I did learn in the beginning.

In the Buy It/Try It category, we just tried Fiber One 90 Calorie Brownie Bars in chocolate and peanut butter.  Yum!  A great little snack and when you read the back, you find it really is pretty nutritious (as far as diet bars go)

In the Trick category, if you don't want to spend the money on egg substitute, just buy regular eggs.  Take out two eggs, separate the yolks of one (I hate to waste it, so I would say throw it in your child's/spouse's scrambled eggs, but do they really need the extra calories and cholesterol on a regular basis?  Probably not) and scramble the one yolk with two whites.  It's not exactly the same count as egg substitute, but it will drastically cut your calories and such without losing taste.

In the Recipe category, I think I have already mentioned these things, but I think they deserve re-iterating.

Egg Bake

1/3 cup  egg substitute
1 Morning Star sausage patty
2 white button mushrooms, sliced
1/4 cup cheese, grated

Preheat oven to 350.  Pour egg into pie tin.  Break up sausage patty and spread over egg.  Sprinkle cheese over top, add sliced egg to very top.  Bake 30 minutes (start first thing and bake while you're getting ready for work, for instance.)  Move to top rack and broil for just a couple of minutes to make top golden brown.

We tried the cheese on top, but the best flavor of all was when the cheese was creamy and the mushrooms and sausage were browned.

Pitas

Pitas are my new best friend.  At 100 calories, I can cut it in half.  If you buy the split ones, make your sandwich inside and the bread is just 50 calories.  If not split, cut into quarters and make a sandwich between two quarters.

Pita snack
Preheat over to 350.  Put half a pita on a cookie sheet.  Sprinkle LIGHTLY with garlic powder.  (Alternately, if you have time, roast a garlic clove until soft, then spread like butter).  Broil on low for a few minutes until barely golden.

Serve with Tomato Treat

Slice or chop one tomato ind press into a 1 cup ramekin.  Sprinkle with a dash of Cavender's Greek seasoning. Top with 1/4 cup Shreiber (low fat/low calorie, pre-grated) cheese.  Bake at 350 for about 15 - 20 minutes (until cheese starts to brown).  Put pita in for last 8 minutes for a lunch that is very filling and less than 200 calories.

Baking

I miss baking so much. I didn't even bake all that much a couple years ago, just time to time, but I haven't wanted to waste any calories on goodies so I haven't baked much of anything all year. Finally decided I had to bake this excellent pumpkin cake recipe I got (Thanks, Becky!!) and it made me return to baking.

I've invented a new lime cupcake which people seem to enjoy (naughty baking recipes will appear on a different webpage) and today I'll be making zucchini bread.

What does this have to do with this blog?

Of course it's okay to have a treat once in a while. It's when you have one every day or multiple in a day that your hips and thighs begin to look like jodhpurs. The solution is easy. We all know people who love treats and aren't watching their caloric intake. Give them away! I've been spreading the love, a few here and a few there, so as not to dump a whole bunch of sweets on any one person, but allowing everyone to have that once in a while treat. I'll be doing the zucchini bread in small pans so that I can offer just a few servings.

Point is, I love the baking part and am so glad I can do it and still find will power to give the delicious goodies away.

Have lost a couple more pounds. Progress is slow going, but it's still the right direction and I feel pretty great which, we remind ourselves constantly, is the real goal.

Back to Blog

We fell off "the wagon."

Actually, we held hands and jumped off. We still ate reasonably, but no counting calories. Scott went for short walks, I...did what I could, working up to longer walks. This means we gained a few pounds over the last few weeks.

Everyone is surprised I didn't lose weight after surgery. I think that's only for people who spend the first two weeks in hospital, but with this modern age of "drive-thru surgery" as I've heard it termed, we spend more time recuperating at home where lovely friends and family help out by bringing delicious foods. Meanwhile, there's too much pain in discomfort to walk the miles a day I did before. Of course I gained weight. I know some people can keep weight off just by walking a little. We all know people who can keep weight off by eating reasonably even if they don't exercise much. If that worked for me, this diet and activity regimen we are on wouldn't be necessary.

Getting back on the bandwagon can be difficult, too. I don't know why. Every day starts out great, but by end of day, I'm famished and craving things I haven't even craved for a long time. Still, the exercise part has been easy to re-commit to. In fact, this week I walked one mile in the morning and another in the evening. Doing two miles at once would probably be hard on me, but splitting it up means I get a good workout every day without too much discomfort. I'm not quite up to our old speed, but I'm close. Now I've lost all but two of the pounds I put on while I was laid up. It's definitely time to start eating better in the evenings. Even eating a couple things I know I shouldn't each day, I'm still under 2,000 calories (except one or two days where I went to an event and threw caution to the wind) so with exercise it goes to show your body does learn to adjust.

Meanwhile, I've noticed a few things.
1) The three step program. Several commercials, ad campaigns, and books advertise that losing weight is a three step program. Eat right. Exercise. Buy My Product.

I mentioned this to Scott saying it's actually a two step program of eating better and being more active. The whole point I'm trying to make with this blog and with life is that it doesn't take money to do everything. Spending money on a program might make certain people commit to a program, but if you are truly ready in mind and spirit, spending money doesn't have to enter into it. Walking, hiking, borrowing friends' exercise equipment (everyone knows someone with a neglected treadmill!) costs less than a gym membership. Taking the time to figure out what and when to eat costs less than weight watchers. Yes, it's more work and in this busy world, we have to make time for it, but for some, just doing the work makes it enough to commit.

Well, having decided that it was a two step program, Scott and I we saw a billboard with syndicated characters (I want to say Mickey Mouse and friends, but I can't recall for sure now) who had the ultimate three step version which I would gladly endorse.

Eat healthy. Be Active. Have Fun.

Don't forget that last step! It is certainly the most important.

2) Several self-help health "gurus" are really bothering me. The new comment making its rounds is that overeating is immature. They talk about how giving in to a craving is childish and tell people to "grow up".

Of course, I hate it because they are attacking me so I automatically want to disagree, but I do have an argument against their propaganda that I think is fairly sound.

All animals eat. If you put a dish of cat food and a can of tuna in front of a cat, what are they going to eat? The cat food is healthier for them, but we all know they'll gorge on tuna. It's base animal need to eat and it's basic animal instinct to eat what tastes good. This isn't about maturity unless you are going to say a woman desiring sex when she's ovulating is also immature.

What's immature, really, is thinking that we are so important that we have to answer our cell phone calls as soon as they come in - no matter what we are doing. To me, maturity is demonstrated when a person understands and accepts consequences for their actions. Believing you can talk on a cell phone whilst driving and still give 100% to both is ignoring the fact that there could be consequences for your actions. Dismissing a person's human struggles by calling them childish and immature is a bit of a bullying tactic.

The latest "guru" I heard using this tactic was a motivational speaker pushing his book on the news. This isn't news, kids. This is a guy who has worked to make money without working by persuading and probably bullying people into thinking they are stupid if they don't agree with him. Of course, my experience with motivational speakers so far is that you take a dash of charisma, a modicum of logic, and a lot of useless words to convince people you are right when, if you are smart enough (and MATURE enough) to see the bigger picture, you realize their logic is flawed, their charisma is fake, and their words contradict each other as much as they try to hide reality. It is also my opinion that 90% of self-help books are just mass market motivational speaking. "If I write a book with my 'hook' (a line that is useless and nonsensical, but sounds good and is often catchy so people remember it even if it's lame. The Secret springs to mind...) I can reach millions with my garbage and even if it is garbage, I'm $1,000,000 richer so who cares?" They don't care about your health and well being. They care about their money. It's a get rich quick scheme that is sadly working the world over because people need an answer. The want it to be easy and quick so badly that they will pay anything for it.

It's hard to believe that it really is just as easy as eating better and exercising more. I know that. For years I couldn't figure that out because I ate somewhat healthy and exercised some. It just wasn't enough. If it's not working, eat even healthier (cut more calories or substitute more carbohydrate-high foods for broccoli and protein) and exercise even more (find more activities to do or get heart rate a bit higher). Of course, this is still just my opinion. If you listen to it without question, then I'll become one of those loathe-some motivational speakers...

Okay, now. Where were we?

I now weigh 223 lbs. That is 107 lbs from my highest weight and 77 lbs from the weight I was when I began this process. I am wearing the size I wore my senior year of high school. I suspect my wedding dress would be a bit baggy.

All this weight loss makes a person reminiscent of the past - of the time when I weighed this much or even less. 25 lbs from here is the weight I had on my first driver's license; although I lied about my weight then. I don't remember how much I weighed, but I said 197 just to keep it under 200. I think my next goal might be to actually BE 197 lbs.

Of course, goals and plans get set aside from time to time in our lives. That's okay. I was set to have surgery to remove an offending organ from my body on the 18th of July, but after a second blood transfusion, my doctor and I decided it might not be a good idea to wait any longer so I had a hysterectomy on the 7th of July.

When we first made the decision, I told people about the upcoming surgery and was surprised to hear concerns over weight gain - not necessarily my weight gain, but weight gain after surgery in general or their weight gain. I started researching on the internet about my surgery to put my mind at ease and make sure I knew everything I needed to know and came across a plethora of concerns about weight gain related to surgery as well.

All I can think is who cares!? Why are we so concerned about weight that we freak out at the idea of gaining a little after surgery? If it was elective surgery or cosmetic surgery, sure. You don't want to be further behind, but whether you are at a healthy weight or not; whether you are on a diet or not, just worry about getting better, not weight. This is all, imo, part of this system where we focus TOO much on weight and not enough on HEALTH. These are not always synonymous despite popular belief.

I can walk around, but not for long before I feel some pain. I eat what's brought to me and since we have such generous and lovely family and friends, many delectable dishes have been brought. I craved tapioca and butterscotch pudding so my husband bought me tapioca and butterscotch pudding. It's not an excuse to overindulge in fatty food or eat too much, but frankly, I don't care if I gain some weight. I'll just lose it again when I'm on my feet. I have faith now. I know from experience that it's not that hard. This is life.

Of course, the problems I've been having definitely explain a small portion of why I kept losing weight and not feeling better. Admittedly, it was making me bitter to lose weight, eat better, know better, have confidence that I can accomplish things and yet to feel trapped because I never knew what my body was going to do. Would I bleed heavy that day? Would I have pain? I didn't know from hour to hour, let alone day to day.

Now, thankfully, it's over! That stupid fibroid that was causing increased problems over the last year is gone. I can't wait to see what life is going to bring once I'm up and around again.

New recipes to lighten to load of my recent and future rambling.

Pasta Salad

Pick your favorite pasta shape. Mine is either gigli or wacky mac for this recipe. Disguise high fiber or whole grain pasta with this delicious recipe. Check calories per serving. Average calorie content for 1/4 cup of this recipe is about 150. (Most serving size of pasta is 2/3 cup around 200 calories, but since pasta salad is more of a side, take less and enjoy!)

Cook 1/2 package pasta until soft. Strain. Rinse with cold water.

In a large bowl, mix:
1/4 cup FAT FREE Miracle Whip
1 Tbsp white wine vinegar
1 tsp dry mustard powder OR 1 Tbsp prepared mustard
1 pkg Italian dressing dry mix
2 Tbs Cavendar's Greek seasoning
1/4 c peas
1/4 c mushrooms
1/4 c chopped carrot
1/2 can olives (whole can if you buy pre-sliced)
1/2 yellow bell pepper*
3/4 orange bell pepper*
1/2 chopped tomato
Add other veggies to your desire (celery, chopped cucumber, etc. NEVER use corn) but remember that certain additions add calories. Mix pasta into bowl and chill for about 30 minutes to an hour before serving. Fluff at the last minute. Makes 8-10 servings.

*substitute either bell pepper for red for a bit more bite.

Strawberry Salad

2 cups baby spinach, rinsed
1 cup strawberries, sliced

Dressing
1/4 cup rice wine vinegar
1/4 cup strawberries

Puree strawberries and blend with rice wine vinegar. Toss with spinach and strawberries.

1/2 cup of this salad can be counted as free. Calories per 1/2 cup - about 50 calories.

It goes on and on

Well, I haven't lost a ton, but I actually stepped on the scale and have lost a few pounds despite limited exercise and eating based on instinct rather than counting calories. I am realizing that you really can get to a point where you sense how much to eat, though I would still recommend counting once a week or so to make sure one keeps on track.

Interesting note: Last week I commented to Scott "There weren't this many walkers last year..." noting that we seem to pass more and more people as the weather has improved and we see the same people quite often. Yesterday, we got distracted by a morning garage sale. The homeowner came over and said "You both look great!" Awkwardly, we said thanks. Came to find out in conversation that they had noticed us walking all year and noticed the weight loss! Turns out, also, that they became friends with my brother at one point, but that wasn't known at first.

As we finished our walk we chatted about possibilities and it occurs to us perhaps, just perhaps, there were others in the neighbourhood who noticed us as well. I don't want to take any credit, but it might be nice to know if people thought "Hey, if they can do it, so can I!" I mean, when we started at such high weights, can others really have an excuse? Interesting thought...

We aren't really "neighbourhood" people. I mean, we're nice to people when we see them on the street and we try to respect our immediate neighbours, but we don't exactly get terribly involved. I suppose I would just like to think we're touching our neighbours, but without having to get into those heated debates over lawn care and politics...

Help, Advice, and things better left unsaid...

So I have taken a slight cut back on the diet and exercise recently, but I have been maintaining my weight.
I have a gentleman at work that keeps checking in with me on my progress once to twice a week.
I explained to him that I wasn't really losing and that I was maintaining my weight just fine.
BTW this is a person that has given me advice that I "should" follow the entire time. I have usually just ignored him, because what I am doing is working for me and as long as it is working I don't really need the advice on things that I need to change. A helpful suggestion on a tasty low cal meal is one thing (really appreciate those), but trying to design my methods for me is completely another.
Any how, when he finds out that I am not significanlty trying to lose weight he starts to tell me that I can't give up, what I need to do to keep focuses, and what my end result weight should be.
Now I am trying to figure out when I appointed him and my goal setter, cheer squad, and dietition. Still can't.
Enough was enough, I and finally asked him "When did my target weight become your desicion? When were you appointed to be the person to make my health habits? Finally, when can I have that responsibility back to me all me?" (He hasn't talked to me for over a week).
Morale of the story, be supportive of those that you care about and have made the choice to change the health and diet, but resist the urge (strongly resist) to worry about our diets. We don't expect you to change your meals when we're coming over to dinner. We can figure it out if we have a high cal meal or eat too much. Please continue to be who you are that is why we love you. It's when you become over bearing and start worrying for us or think that you have the right to make our choices for us that it crosses a line.
I sincerly mean this in the most loving way that I can, but sometimes the lines have to be defined so we don't offend you and you don't offend us!

Update

Things are going okay. I'm able to go for walks again and have been eating the best I can whilst keeping up my iron, protein, vitamin B, etc. I feel better which is great, but I haven't stepped on the scale for several days.

Sometimes it's better not to do so. I would gauge from my body that I could not have gained more than a a few pounds. Clothes fit okay so maybe very little at all. I'm not worried. I intend to give myself a week to cleanse and get back on the activity scale, and then I'll worry about pounds.

The main point is that I feel active again! I went out and about to run errands yesterday. Sadly, I didn't judge well and by the time our evening plans rolled around, I felt terrible and had to go home early. Well, I have plans for today that will hopefully be easy enough and tomorrow I can rest again. It's difficult to find balance, but it will be so much easier to feel like myself now that I can leave the house. Having said that, I probably just cursed myself into having problems. {sigh} oh well. Have to take chances!

Plateaus (or trouble getting started)

I know it seems crazy for me to put more advice out there while I'm cutting back on exercise and only barely able to keep from gaining (none so far, but I feel like it's just around the corner...The longer I go without exercise, the easier it is to skip it.)

If you are stuck on a plateau, however, or if you are starting a regimen and not seeing results, there are a few things you can try. I have found some of these to be very helpful, but I would recommend trying them in the following order.

1. Reassess:
A. Look again at what you are eating. Are you counting all calories? Mayo added to a sandwich must be counted along with all the incidentals we sometimes forget. A lot of seasonings are zero calories, but check those mixtures. A packet of onion soup mix added to your yogurt dip is 50 calories. "I'm just going to have a couple of my kid's french fries" turns into 6-10 fries? Count it. I am pretty lax about counting calories now (I will eat 2 fries and not count them), but in the beginning or when re-booting your eating habits, it is important to count every little item. If you haven't changed your caloric intake, but you've lost a few pounds, it might also be time to cut another 200 calories. Just remember; according to most medical advice and nutritionists, you should eat at least 1200 calories a day. If you were eating 1200 calories and you think that's the problem, you may have to skip to the last resort (below).
B. Are you still exercising the same as when you began? We started going for walks, but have slowly increased speed. At one point, we both slowed weight loss so much that it was practically stable. That meant it was time to add distance. If you've become accustomed to your workout, it might be time to push a little harder or add a little more. Second idea, change it out. I also found that by adding some strength training into my routine 2-3 times a week, it jump started me back onto the path.

2. Stress:
Easier said than done, that's for certain, but try to reduce stress levels. Sometimes this requires looking over aspects of your life and reminding yourself not to worry about the things you cannot change. At the very least, if you are worried about a plateau, then you may be covered in stress you can control. Relax and just start over with your thoughts on why you started, what your goals might be, etc. Look at how far you have come and find joy in simple things.

3. Last resort:
If you still cannot seem to boost things along, you may have to take a break. Keep counting calories, only eat more. Add a few hundred to your allowance and make sure you eat that much for 3-5 days and no more. If you have been eating 1800-2000 calories, bump up to 2500. If you have been with us and only eating 1200, bump up to 1800-2000. After that time, cut your calories again and push your exercise routine just a little.

It can be frustrating at times, but I do believe results are possible. I used to think I was one of those people who couldn't lose weight because I did try diet and exercise as well as a few other fad tactics, but either it wasn't successful or it was impossible to sustain. It takes great commitment and sometimes you have to repair your body and mind in order to be ready to lose weight, but I now believe it can happen. Whatever method you choose, make sure you can maintain and sustain.

Health problems affect healthy habits.

It seems as though this is turning from a weight loss blog into a weight stable, self-indulgent, complaint blog.

Friday I had a procedure that was supposed to help my problems so that I didn't have to throw away the entire summer. Instead I got slapped in the face.

I was feeling great on Saturday, went to my mother's and did a little sidewalk sweeping while my daughter mowed Grandma's lawn and hubby worked in the yard a bit. Sunday, I started bleeding just a little. Monday, more bleeding, heavy cramping, and general discomfort. I'm keeping close tabs on how I feel, but when I tried to go walking tonight, I felt sharp pains and more problems. I've been told it could take up to 3 months to know how things will be after this procedure, but it sucks! I am going a bit stir crazy, I'm already eating so little that I can't cut my calories more so that I don't gain weight without the exercise, and now I am wondering if I will be able to do any of those things I planned this summer.

I still think this may be relevant information because I think if I eat more calories and reboot my metabolism, maybe I can cut the calories back down in a few days and manage to lose weight without exercise? I don't know. It has never worked for me to do only one or the other before. I do know some people who have been able to lose weight with just diet. I realize the focus is supposed to be health, but I just got all these new clothes, see, and I want to continue to fit into them. Aside from that, the last thing anyone wants is to make all this progress and then to backslide.

I suppose this doesn't help in the advice category. No recipes. No substitutions. No tricks of the week. Just frustration.

It's May, it's May, the lusty month of May

Or, at least, this post encompasses the month of May in an overall view.

First, May is the month of my birthday and our anniversary. I didn't have high hopes for weight loss to begin with. Additionally, the stress of my health issues made eating well very difficult. Temptation all around and stress made me weak - very very weak.

Overall I've lost only 5 lbs the entire month, but I think that's pretty good considering all factors. The reason it's noteworthy, though is because I went up and down a lot throughout the month.

I ate amazing food from Winger's where I learned something. Their wings and wraps are still savory. The asphalt pie was as delicious as ever, but after just a few bites, I had enough. I've had people tell me that after a while, you don't even want those "bad" foods. In a few cases that is true, but mostly I find that now my taste buds are sensitive enough and my brain is focused enough that just a few bites of those foods we love are enough. After all this time, I can go to a party and see all those dishes I love and, because it's a rare occasion, take just a small spoonful of each item and not see it on the scale.

Reminder: dieting is not about taking things away! It is about enjoying the smaller amounts of things you love. Just keep that in mind.

As for exercising, it's been hard. Several days I was in too much pain or bleeding too much to go walking. I tried to push through walks on several occasions, but I felt sluggish and thought I must not be doing enough. I tried to push through a 5K with my husband and his mom, but barely made it to the 4K marker. From there it got worse. I thought I needed sleep. Maybe it was allergies? Maybe I needed to exercise more in order to get more energy throughout the day. Maybe... Oh. The doctor called. Normal hematocrit (blood levels in the body) is 40. They start transfusions at 25. Mine was 15. THAT is when everything clicked into place.

The point of that story is to remind you to take care of yourself. Eating differently can mess up certain levels. I was playing it loose with my supplements and iron pills. I had trouble exercising and that is something that has become important to me. The fact that I couldn't go for a walk should have been a clue. If you are starting out and exercise is hard, that's just more reason to do it. If you've been doing well for a while and now it's hard, it's time to re-evaluate or see a physician. That's my advice anyway.

When I left the ER, my hematocrit was still just 23. I was given a stern warning that while my levels would increase slightly over the next few hours and that I needed to take iron pills and boost myself, I had no reserves so I had to be careful. Well, since I spent the whole day in the ER, I felt I deserved another break from reality so we went to Chuck A Rama. I devoured anything and everything with protein and iron. I did include beans and lean beef so that I wouldn't gorge on that delicious fried chicken I love, but I still ate a lot. Next morning I jumped out of bed early, got Jane off to school,cleaned the kitchen, then did an energetic mile and a half in less time than we've ever done the route. The whole weekend we walked quite a bit extra, quickly, and got a lot of work around the house done that I hadn't had energy to do lately. I feel pretty normal now - normal for myself, but those first few days I was just burning energy like a bunny because I felt better than I had in months.

Challenge: workout every day for at least 20 minutes if physically possible. Find the time. Even if you have no energy, get outside and enjoy the fresh air with a casual pace. Go to a party or event and don't count calories. Just take a small amount of the foods you like and enjoy yourself. While we are counting calories and minutes of exercise, then justifying everything as trying to be healthy, we can lost focus of ourselves. It's not worth it if you can't enjoy life.

Paradox

Isn't there some sort of saying that if you lose weight you'll feel better? Isn't the theory something about improved health? Okay, maybe my overall health has improved, but instead we have become very aware of problems under the surface who didn't feel like making any sort of trouble until the pounds started going the way of my desire for candy bars.

First, weird menses led me to a doctor where I found out I have numerous fibroids and possibly other problems. This upsets me because there are days that the side effects (pain, bleeding) make it impossible for me to exercise. Those days suck especially on the occasions when they happen two days in a row.

Yes. Surprising even myself, I have become very attached to my exercise.

Second, I a pain in my back near my shoulder has gotten progressively worse until I started having stiff, hot pain in my neck and throbbing from the base of my neck to the base of my skull. Research made me theorize it could be a pinched nerve so I had to demand back rubs from hubby. I hate to impose that on him daily, but it has improved the pain so I think we're almost to the point where I can just stretch and work it out.

Summer plans for swimming and hiking are, at the very least, mostly ruined. I'm sad. It sucks to work so hard and then feel betrayed by my body. Of course, I didn't treat it spectacularly up to this point so maybe I had it coming.

Kid approved Stir Fry

Nearly out of calories for the day, but still hungry for a good dinner? Try this delicious stir fry!

1 pkg Hungry Girl tofu noodles (angel hair)
12 oz raw shrimp (shelled and de-veined)
1/4 cup Panda Express Orange Chicken Sauce
1 Tbs garlic powder (avoid garlic salt)
1 Tbs balsamic vinegar
2 Tbs water
1/2 cup broccoli
1/2 cup carrots
1/2 cup snow peas
1/2 cup mushrooms

Fry veggies in pan with balsamic vinegar and water. Stir in sauce and garlic powder. Drain and rinse tofu noodles for 2 minutes. Spread over veggies, then spread shrimp over the top. Continue to fry on low or simmer until shrimp just turns pink, mix together and serve. Makes 3 servings at 175 calories per serving.

Entertainment Value

Amidst all this weight loss, there is a self-loathing. I defend the rights of the obese. I defend a person's right to be happy no matter what their size or shape. I wasn't a miserable fatty and I don't think anyone should be. I do think if a person is unhappy about being fat, they should do something about it because everything is, ultimately, in our own hands. Half the time I think people aren't unhappy about being fat, but about other things or the way people treat them. People don't look fat people in the eye. That makes me a little mad.

That is why on a blog about our personal journey, I feel compelled to post the following video. (Warning: Penn's mouth is not within my control. Even I think he swears too much....)

Vezi mai multe peTeava.ro

(More - but only the first few minutes is related to diet. The rest is just, imo, interesting)

Vezi mai multe peTeava.ro

No, I don't buy into every word the present, but it really should get you questioning and thinking about what you eat and what other people say.

The truth about 'obesity'

I'm not saying that if you are obese, you don't need to lose weight. I'm not saying there isn't something to the numbers of overweight and obese people in the world. Unfortunately, I caught an episode of The Talk today (I don't typically watch these types of shows; partly because they are shallow, but mostly because they get me riled up) so what I am going to say is that I believe there is a certain amount of publicity out there that is working AGAINST us, not FOR us.

Let's start with the truth about the supposed increase in obesity. Twenty years ago obesity was measured on a scale of body mass percentage. Now with the misapplication of BMI (an index originally used as a scientific statistical tool which does not take into account bone structure, muscle, or other factors such as the amount of fat a woman is supposed to carry in comparison to men!) the new scale has increased the number of people who would qualify as overweight by up to 50% according to medical websites. This accounts for nearly the entire statistical increase of overweight, obese, and morbidly obese people.

Let's turn to the episode of The Talk I made the mistake of watching today. I don't mean to pick on anyone - the only reason I would turn to the show ever is that I have secretly paid attention to Holly Robinson since starring in 21 Jumpstreet (great show!), I always thought Leah Remini did great guest spots on comedies, Sara Gilbert played the best "depressed teen" for years - so much that I watched Roseanne even though I didn't really like the show, and Sharon Osborne's accent is just plain entertaining - but I'm going to name names in order to keep things straight.

They begin by showing the current cover of Men's Health magazine. On the cover is some congressman with his shirt open and his sexy abs looking nicely oiled. I was not offended by the nice body, of course, but the comments that followed brought to my attention the way that we use weight to justify shallow opinions! Candace Cameron Bure, guest hosting, started by saying something along the lines of "he's bringing awareness to obesity." No! He is flaunting a well toned body, but that is not linked to obesity. Working out until you have that kind of toned muscle; applying oils to make the appearance even more aesthetically pleasing, choosing the open shirt and that particular pose - these are all things that have nothing to do with health or bringing awareness to anything other than the fact that he has a nice body. No matter what you say, posing like a model simply does not relate to weight issues. It's shallow. I am not in better health because I buy nice shoes, am I? No, but they make my feet pretty and I want to show them off so I will wear them and claim it's about health and somehow it becomes a less arrogant quest.

Am I the only one who sometimes feels like people jump on the anti-obese bandwagon because they don't want to look at fat people? They are often not pretty to look at so if we focus instead on "health", then we can guilt fatties into losing weight so they are more pleasing to look in the eye. No one asks a thin person about their health. No one assumes a thin person has health problems even though there is a large percentage of the 'thin' population that is malnourished and there are many people who don't exercise or eat properly.

Holly Robinson Peete went on to say that the magazine cover is not an exploitation because she likes his abs, she likes abs, and she likes looking at a six pack. Right, but it is an exploitation because his abs are not and should not be the reason why we vote for him.

Julie Chen claimed that seeing him like that might encourage her to look at the issues. I think she gives way to much credit to the public. Again, people vote on aesthetic appearance whether they should or not and frankly, he's exploiting that with his appearance. He's clinched the deal for the next election, imo, by knowing which part of himself to sell. A sad reality in which we live...

In the next segment, the ladies took on an Atlanta ad campaign where a child stands before the camera and says she doesn't like going to school because the kids tease her for being bigger than they. Not that it makes a lot of difference, but the child they showed is not nearly as obese as some kids I've seen. They chose one who was pleasantly plump so that you wouldn't automatically turn away. The campaign then goes on to post statistics that are disputable; the percentage of kids who are now considered obese (see above for change in definition), the number of kids who are overweight in Atlanta (again based on the new definition by which, I might mention, George Clooney is overweight in comparison to his height), and the fact that kids will not live as long as their parents.

In a previous post, I mentioned that it's about the example we set. Of course we want to be good role models for our children, but we also need to let our children be children. Instead what we are doing with an ad like this is saying that it's okay for children to intimidate other children if they are fat because fat is unacceptable. We are also telling kids that if they are overweight, they should feel bad about themselves. Somehow we think this will jolt them into better eating habits, but the fact is, a child does not know how to deal with this pain. They do not think like adults. They don't have the same control over their lives that an adult does, therefore the only way to make themselves better is to escape into a world of television and video games (T.V. never teases a child) and food. It is my perception that this only increases the problem until they become adults with such a huge weight problem, the idea of turning it around is incredibly intimidating.

I talked about the booklet I received from school for my daughter, too. I feel like it also gave unrealistic expectations that would just cause a child to feel bad about himself or herself if she can't keep up. What's the incentive of a child who has little control over his or her life to improve things when the expectations are so high? I simply don't think that the information is being presented appropriately to encourage healthy choices in children. We brainwash them with adult thoughts and don't really account for balance.

As for obese children not outliving their parents, the statistics claim that obesity may only reduce lifespan by a few months. Others claim it could be up to ten. The problem here is that there is no solid information and all studies are disputable to the point that it may not shorten life spans at all! Additionally, evidence does show that many obese children have obese parents - therefore if there is a link, their parents likely have the same problem working against them.

After that had been covered, a comment was tossed out that obesity is linked to cancer, strokes, and type 2 diabetes. The links to cancer and strokes are tenuous at best and because the studies have been focused on weight, I think the attitude is dismissive. No where near the money is tossed at studies that try to make these links between anything other than weight so by blaming it all on weight, we may be missing other important and preventative factors. As for type 2 diabetes, it is linked much more strongly with a sedentary lifestyle than obesity. It looks like it is related to obesity because many large people are sedentary and have trouble processing sugars, but if that were the case, then only obese people would have type 2 diabetes. The truth is, there are many people with type 2 diabetes who are and always have been thin.

Next, Leah Remini spoke about her child and how "she wants the white pasta, she wants the carbs, she wants the bad stuff. CARBS ARE NOT BAD! Pasta is all right. It’s the serving size that is the problem. Read the labels. You can still give her the food she likes, just in portion control. Jane loves pasta and sauce, but we don't serve it with garlic bread or added meat anymore. By pre-measuring the pasta and sauce instead of having them both self serve, we find a normal serving size to be plenty filling. Save the garlic bread for another night so you don't overdo the carbs, but we need to stop thinking they are bad just by existing.

Leah then went on to say that she can't change her daughter because she has already introduced these foods. I get where she is coming from, but you don't know until you try. Jane likes a lot of the substituted foods we eat in this house - even some I was certain she wouldn't. When it comes to other things, we make compromises and keep trying things until she is happy as well. It's not easy, but it can be done if you care enough about your child's health to go through the process.

Right before the end of the segment, Holly then went on to say that it needs to be more convenient. Well, it is, but you have to get over the brainwashing we have going on. A happy meal with chicken nuggets, apples, and apple juice is quite healthy. Take some time to sit on the internet and look up other drive through menus. Salads are not automatically a good choice, but there are a few good ones out there. Seeing the Arby's version of the chicken salad sandwich is not the same as the Subway Apply Orchard (with the added mayo, nuts, etc, it is higher calorie). A burger at Wendy's might be lower calorie than a similar one at McDonald's. If you really care, take the time to look them up so you can still grab a bite in a hurry.

Of course, I have this whole idea that has nothing to do with weight loss, too. If you're getting fast food all the time and claiming that it's because of time, maybe it's time to slow down your life. We do not need to be running a race that doesn't allow time to enjoy a meal. In fact, if you enjoy your food, you tend not to need as much of it. Slow down! It is okay to skip signing your kid up for every sport and just encourage them to ride their bike around the block with you. It is okay to find time to relax at least a few days a week.

In the end, it's about excuses. As long as we keep making excuses, we are not ready to change our eating habits. A person either changes them or doesn't. Commit.


*Not a proper bibliography, but a bulk of my information comes from USA Today and The New York Times, both of which quoted doctors, scientists, and the New England Journal of Medicine.

Tonight's Dinner: Chicken Gnocchi (Dumpling) Soup

Serving size: 1 cup
Calories: about 150
Prep time: give yourself 2 hours

1 whole fryer chicken
3 cans chicken broth (low sodium - check for brand with lowest calories)
2 cubes chicken bullion
2 Tablespoons lemon pepper
2 Tablespoons garlic powder (avoid garlic salt!)
3/4 cup carrots
3/4 cup broccoli
3/4 cup celery
3/4 cup peas
(other 'free' veggies at 1/4 - 3/4 cup each such as onions or red pepper)
1 package gnocchi (found at target)

Boil whole chicken in large stew pot with chicken broth and equal parts water (or until it just covers chicken). Once completely cooked, remove from water and set aside. Add seasonings and vegetables, reserving peas until the end. Let stew while cutting up chicken. Take time to cut away as much fat as possible. Return chicken pieces to pot and bring to boil. Add gnocchi into soup and let cook about 15 minutes until gnocchi is done.

This makes a large amount so divide into 1 cup servings (you should get approximately 10) and freeze to make individual meals later.

Warm weather brings cold cravings...

With the weather finally warming up, the cravings for cold treats will likely increase.

1. Frozen Yogurt - A fabulous alternative to ice cream, frozen yogurt tastes much better than it did years ago. We've already tried a few spot, but it is still dangerous ground so tread carefully. We don't go more than once every two weeks and even that is probably a lot.

Frozen yogurt is difficult to find at the grocery store, but maybe it's for the best not to have it in the house. If it's expensive and you go out occasionally to purchase just one serving, it will be much easier to stick to the diet plan. The problem is, frozen yogurt joints are not as they used to be either. They are self serve and you pay by weight. My frustration is that the smallest cup is usually 16 ounce, but one serving size is 8 ounces so it's difficult to judge your calories.

TIP: 1 cup should look no bigger than a baseball.

Read the labels at each frozen yogurt machine. Some are sugar free, some non-fat/fat free. Non fat is your lowest calorie option, but still comes in around 160. I count mine as 200 even though a few can be a little more than that. (If I'm really trying to be good, I will count it as 250) Again, if it's a treat, you can go over and still lose weight over all. Toppings all need to be counted no matter what you choose. 2 Tbs chopped fruit will be your safest bet; around 40 calories. Syrups are well over 100 for a couple tablespoons and those chopped up candy bars or nuts are better avoided completely.

Farr's Fresh has a variety of yogurt, ice cream, and frozen custard in their location near Macey's in Sandy. The yogurt tasted delicious, but because of the variety, there were few options. The tastiest looking choices were in the 'naughty' area so I will probably avoid going there.

We've tried TCBY (Fashion Place Mall) and Planet Yogurt (Quarry Bend) as well as Frogurt in Fort Union. If pressed, we would choose TCBY because they have creamier frozen yogurt and offer many flavors in a nice twist. Planet Yogurt comes in second, I think, though they don't offer all of them in twist and some of the combinations seem a little weird.

2. Juice bars - cool off guilt free with Dreyer's fruit bars. Many of them are 50 calories per serving and they taste great.

3. Creamy - Snickers and Twix offer 100 calorie ice cream treats, but they are tiny and a little grainy. Skinny Cow has delicious ice cream bars - my preference being the white mint. Their other products are lower in calorie than similar items, but still more calories than I usually like to have so we have skipped things like their ice cream sandwiches.

4. Target has a nice rainbow sherbet. I believe it is about 120 calories per serving, but it tasted wonderful and could be a nice treat.

My suggestion? Skip the cone. It's only a few calories, but that's all the more calories you can enjoy in the actual frozen yogurt.

Creative Exercise

Well, I guess I got a little over-excited. I hoped some of the lower hiking areas would be open so we drove up Big Cottonwood Canyon. Instead we found even the lowest ones were closed/snowed in. Moving back down the mountain, we stopped at a lovely picnic area and got our "creative exercise" by exploring, trekking up the hills and onto the rocks around the creek.

And so it begins...

Getting Started

I know it seems a little nuts to put something about getting started as the 30th post and nearly 2 months into the blog. These moments have passed for me, so I don't think about them as much. It is important, though, to get off to a solid start - to take a moment and think about what you are doing.

1. Record.
Begin by NOT changing. For at least a week (not more than two, I should think) continue to eat and exercise normally. Grab a small notebook that you can keep with you and make sure you have a pen. I recommend dividing it into three sections.
Section A is what you eat. Record everything. "If you bite it, write it" is the phrase I've heard. Picking a french fry off your kid's plate should be noted. Calculate calories of these foods to the best of your ability. Most nutritional guides can be found online, but don't look them up until after you have eaten out because it can affect your eating habits whether it's out of guilt or more of a subconscious reaction.
Section B is where you record your activities. Make sure to note what the activity is and the time it takes you to complete it. Note things like resistance (weights in weight training) or distance (walking, biking).
Section C should be dedicated to notes. You can put anything you like: how you feel on a given day, what your goals might be, how you feel about weight loss, what psychological hindrances you think may have helped you get to the weight you are, ANYTHING. You should examine things like why you want to lose weight and what is going through your mind. I find these things help me sort out the truths in my mind even though I may not be ready to face some of them until much further along.

I did something similar to this when I started losing weight at Curves several years ago. Although I only lost 30 lbs over the course of 18 months, I did find that I learned a lot about myself. I wish I had done it again before starting this time because I find myself thinking back and wondering about the differences. Things are working this time so I suppose the notebook isn't necessary, but what's the harm? You'll know your before and after without having to wonder.

2. Goals.
We don't believe in end result goals, per se. When you are as overweight as we, smaller goals are more realistic and visible. Saying that we will be in the ideal weight for our height is intimidating as well as unrealistic. Scott's first goal was to get down to the weight he was when we got married in 1997. For me, I didn't even like having goals at all. They just add stress when it doesn't happen as fast as I want and I go a little crazy if the scale moves up just one pound when I have goals. My goal was to generally be declining instead of increasing. I suppose I still made tiny goals once in a while. If the scale started reading 287-288, I would tell myself that I did not want to see 29+ again. Right now I have just dipped below 238 so I do no wish to see anything over 240 when I get on the scale.

The point is, you have to know yourself and what works for you. Do you need to see where the end will be in order to reach it? Do you prefer to just see results? Try to figure that out before you go in, but be flexible if you find it's not working for you.

3. Resources.
I found Spark People to be a great resource, but I also learned quickly that these group activities don't work for me. I joined, but it was a few months later before I used the tools. I found out how to calculate the mileage of walks in my neighborhood. I hunted down videos to help with strength training and super short workouts for when I just wanted to add a little 10 minute activity to my regularly scheduled exercise. There are recipes and calorie counting guides in easy to use, convenient trackers. I used it faithfully for a month. I didn't lose a single pound the entire month. I don't know why, can't explain. I found articles of motivation and short pieces about how to overcome plateaus. I used everything I could imagine and still stayed in the same place. I didn't relate it to the webpage at first because I could see awesome graphs showing how well I was eating and nifty charts to show that I exercised even more than I had before using it. Surely it couldn't be that. Well, at one point I decided to take a break from tracking for a week and see if it made a difference. I immediately started losing weight again.

Group weight loss isn't for everyone, but I still might recommend signing up on of these pages. I still go there occasionally to update my weight and measurements, but mainly to look things up when I need them. A new workout can be useful at times and when we try a new walk, I like to record it so that I know the distance. It's useful to have a go-to webpage for the bulk of weight-loss research.

4. Ready, Set, Go.
Now that you've got the tools, goals, and recent activity to lean on, it's time to start the actual plan of attack. Yes, we are doing this to be healthy, but let's face it, weight loss is an important part of that. Make sure you are mentally ready to commit to these new goals and to the changes you will have to make. I took a while to get started last summer for various reasons. I liked my life, felt okay, and had no medical scares. I compared myself to my husband and had deluded myself into this weird thought process. "He's eating a big huge burger with beef, pastrami, and sauces spilling out. He's downing the largest french fries available. I'm eating this little gyro which is leaner meat, yogurt sauce, and a type of flat bread. On the side, though fried, what's underneath is mushrooms or zucchini. I'm eating healthier." "Well, he gets winded coming up stairs. I get out and walk once in a while. I'm exercising more. I must be healthier."

Healthier, my friends, is not the same as healthy. It took me quite some time to figure that out.

When he had his medical scares and decided it was time to do something about it, we walked together. It took him a few months just to get up to the speed I walked normally. It was actually hard for me to walk that slow! At first I changed some eating habits a little, but I hadn't quite started counting calories.

Suddenly, he started melting and I lost all of 5 pounds. We started buying foods based on his diet and the supplies of chips, sweets, and other junk in the house began to dwindle. His walking speed increased and, with a Disneyland trip I had planned coming quickly, we increased our distance as well so we would be sure to be ready. NOW I was ready to jump into the pool instead of just dangling my toes.

For some, you can just begin and start changing your life immediately. For the ones like me who need more time to adjust, I recommend the following steps:

A. Cut out obvious junk foods.
If you like to sit with half a bag of oreos dunking them in milk while watching a movie, try taking just the serving size and making the milk a little smaller. If you like to relax after work with a bag of chips and a container of dip, try taking a handful of chips and putting them in a bowl - leave the bag in the kitchen - and make that yogurt dip I've mentioned or scoop out just a tablespoon or two and leave the rest in the fridge. I liked to buy candy bars from time to time and eat 1-2 in a sitting. I stopped buying them and instead opted for a bite sized one from other people's houses (with Halloween coming up, everyone was offering). Examine those especially bad eating habits and cut them out or, at least, cut them down to one serving size per day.

B. Change activity level.
If you go walking once a week, add in a second day. If you go three times a week, try doing yoga, lifting weights, or just jogging during in place during your favorite show on television. We started by going for a 1/2 mile walk, but we did it every day. At first it took over 30 minutes. By the time Scott was up to speed, it was down to 20. Now we can do 1 mile in 20 minutes, though our goal is to go at least 1.5 -2 miles at least 3 times a week.

C. Still not ready to jump in the hole?
If you still feel you have room to improve before taking on the full challenge, I would next recommend cutting visits to restaurants and fast food joints by half. When you go, never order fries; opt for any fruit or vegetables they might offer like broccoli, apples, etc. Also, look for ways to burn extra calories; walk into the bank instead of using drive-through. Save the money and go into a grocery store to buy soda instead of buying the overpriced smaller ones at the gas station. When you crave something at home, jump up and get it instead of thinking about it, putting it off, or saving it as an activity to do several things at once.

D. Jump in!
Do the above for a week or two, then start counting your calories. If it helps, write what you eat. Make sure you are cutting at least 20% off the calories you ate during that first week of recording. Increase your activity double if possible. If you are as large as we, it was recommended we eat 2200-2500 calories (more for Scott). Had we done that, over the course of weight loss we could continue to cut our calories along the road and maintain slow weight loss. It's probably the healthiest route. The problem is that years ago when I recorded calories, I found I only ate 2000-2250. I had messed up my metabolism in such a way that my body could not burn a normal diet. By doing this diet at 1200 calories and being much more careful to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner (though I still lapse. Yesterday I ate a small breakfast and forgot to eat again until 9 pm) I seem to have fixed my metabolism. It functions the way doctors and nutritionists say it should function now (YAY!) That's another plus. Scott wanted to go 1200-1500 because he felt he needed that strict discipline or he would cheat. The problem this causes, of course, is saggy skin as well as the fact that we're both slowing down a little on sending those pounds on their journey to Canada or wherever weight goes when it isn't on my ass. I've got tricks around that, though, and tricks around plateaus which I will detail another day.

So, make sure you're ready to commit to yourself. You can go to weight watchers, join online groups, or just tell all your friends you want to lose weight, but it's you that needs the commitment. Talking out loud solidifies that process, I've heard, but I think talking about it is more about being mentally ready than it is about making it known so you have to answer to someone. Your friends will love you no matter what and you know that so it's not much of a promise if you make it to them. Unfortunately, you will always know when you've cheated yourself (too bad you can't hide the candy bars from yourself, eh!?) so it's got to be internal for it to really work.

Best of luck. If, like me, you think of all these things AFTER you've started dieting, it's not too late. You can still take a moment to record goals and write journal entries about why you may have gained weight or why you want to lose it. Start thinking about other activities you may want to add in order to stave off boredom. Ask yourself tough questions, but don't answer them for a few weeks. You might surprise yourself.

Are you giving good advice or being a dismissive jerk?

If I have to hear this - or any variation of it - one more time, I sometimes think I might lose my mind!

In order to lose weight, you just have to burn more calories than you eat. No kidding. Really? What are you? A genius?

Do you really think saying that (or "eat less, exercise more", "keep active and watch what you eat", etc) makes you sound smart? Like some kind of weight loss guru? Come on! It's the most dismissive thing you can say to someone. It actually makes you a little bit of a jerk.

You can count calories fairly easily these days. On the internet you can get ideas of how many calories are in all those foods that don't come with labels (fruit is the first thing that pops into mind). You can also find charts that give an idea of how many calories you are burning per activity, but those rarely take into account things like your weight (if you weigh more, you'll burn more since you have more to carry around. Thinner people can replicate the numbers by adding weights), your previous activity level, how fast your heart is beating and how much sweat you are building. Many things can affect your calorie burning, but none of it is taken into account. Additionally, you burn calories just by getting our of bed, taking a shower, and even breathing. How on earth are you expected to calculate those calories? It's impossible!

In a general 30 minute workout - which is all that is really asked of an obese person starting out - we probably only burn about 150-250 calories. Are we meant to only eat 200 calories a day to offset that? Of course not! That perspective is what makes that "advice" dismissive and bordering on rude. Funny how the people who give that advice are not the kind of people who have ever spent time counting calories and calculating how many they burn in a day. Oh, right, because they think simply by understanding the concept they are somehow smarter than those of us actually doing the work. Guess what? I already knew that stupid thing you just said. I just understand it better than you.

When asked casually how we're losing weight, though, we do respond with a variation. "We're eating less and exercising more." Of course, this is only used with the same people who ask "How are you?" and only want to hear "Fine" because it's a polite question that does not require a sophisticated answer.

It's easy, but it's complicated. It's possible, but it's not always fun. It does, I have found, get easier and more fun as it all becomes part of life, though.

I just want people (in my ideal, unrealistic, utopian world) who say these things to realize that their comments are cliche, redundant, useless, and completely dismissive to a real struggle that someone else is having. I want people to know that a simple "you look great" compliment goes a long way and does not need to be related specifically to weight. I wish people understood that even if they like their comment about burning vs. eating calories, when the subject comes up and that person is on the thin side talking to someone who clearly isn't, it is perfectly okay not to say anything at all.

Hmm. That last bit could be true in an entire world view, couldn't it? Not just regarding weight, exercise, or even health, but also politics, religion, and day to day living. Sometimes it's okay not to say anything at all!

Tastes good!

Being the official Self Appointed Diet and Low Calorie Food Taste Tester, I bring you today's recommendation. In May, Subway will be serving up their Orchard Chicken Salad sandwiches as their special $5 footlong. It's 360 calories per half (on plain white or whole wheat, no cheese or sauce - only free veggies), but it is a smidge higher in fat than some other sandwiches. Scott and I tested them out tonight. YUM! I would highly recommend, only I might have added banana peppers to mine for just a bit more flavor and Scott recommends against choosing pickles.

Also, we tried Special K's sea salt chips this week. They're nice and crispy, but not much better in either taste or calories than Baked Lays or those veggie chips we pick up at Costco. There is a significant difference in price for how many you get, which is the only reason I might vote against trying them yourself.

Additional notes: My highest weight, as mentioned before, was 330 lbs. I am now 238 lbs. Crawling up on the 100 lb mark feel really good, even if it's only 70 for the year. Update on Scott is down to 338 lbs which puts him him at 114 for the year. Whoo! Feeling some sense of accomplishment there! It's not quite a year yet, but by end of summer it will have been a year for us both.

Going out to Eat Isn't Just Picking the Healthy Option

I learned earlier off in the diet (choosing better foods) that many restraunts offer a nutrition guide. I was like wahoo, I can still find things to eat that are within my calorie count for the day. So when I looked at a restraunt that offered Chicken and Artichoke dinner and a Meatloaf dinner - I was great healthy option, but to my surprise the "healthy" option chicken and artichoke dinner had 980 calories for the chicken, sauce, veggies, and rice. I was wowed that it was so many calories. Then I check the meatloaf dinner which was just below the chicken option and the dinner including veggies and mashed potatoes was only 650 calories for the entire meal. So I went with the lower calorie meal at that restraunt. I have also been going with taco's at my favoriate fast food because the basic taco was lower in calories than all of their other menu items. Now that I know better I noticed that we also need to check out the calories from fat. While the meatloaf was lower calories over 1/2 the calories were fat calories as well as the tacos. While the chicken option while more calories only 1/3 of those calories were from fat. So which one is the better option? For me neither since one has too many calories for one meal and the other has too many fat calories, and I don't need that many fats in my diet.

Next we need to be wary, many of the places that I like to go offer salads. I have been told you can go there and just get the salad, it is better for you. However, these places that offer salads add carmelized nuts, high calorie cheeses, and fruit in them. While they are quite tasty and I am sure a lot more healthy than a burger and fries - they sometimes rival them for the calorie count, especially when one adds the kickin' dressing that they have paired to the salad. So yes healthier due to the less fat content (which your stomach will appreciate) they are not feasible on a low cal diet like we are.

Summer brings barbecue season!

Everybody talks about the holidays, but there are other difficult times of the year. Easter happens to fall within the time period of birthdays and spring celebrations. Burgers, steaks, sauce-slathered chicken, potato salad, pasta salad, and even ripe fruits (if you are tempted to sprinkle sugar over strawberries, eat berries with whipped cream and shortcake, etc) can be just as hard to pass up as ham, creamy mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie. That's my opinion, anyway.

Today's subject: Summer BBQ, Utah/Western style (Southern slathered shredded deliciousness is simply not allowed. Sorry!)

Of the beefy burger substitutes, we've only tried a few. Original Boca burgers we picked up at Costco were only 100 calories and tasted delicious. Spritz with liquid smoke and Yoshida's Gourmet Sauce, Teriyaki sauce, or a dash of soy sauce and they taste wonderful on a bun. Gardenburgers are healthy, but didn't impress me as much as Boca burgers. Sadly, Costco hasn't (at least yet) put out Bocas this year. SAD! I hope they come along soon. Meanwhile, I'm anxious to barbecue so I forked out the extra money and picked up a few new flavours at Target. ($2.54 for 4 which isn't that much, but I don't like spending money). I'll critique the taste of each flavour as we try them, but what we picked up were Grilled Vegetables, Mushroom Mozarella, and Cheeseburger. Sounds yum, right? Add some low calorie cheese and don't forget this important tip! Near the bread and hamburger buns are some sandwich thins. They come in multi-grain and wheat (we prefer multi-grain) and are 100 calories each. I like them toasted on one side. Garnish with free stuff like mustard, pickles, lettuce, onion, bell pepper - I don't count a slice of tomato although I know I should - and you can still enjoy some of the other foods, too. You can't really guess how many calories might be in homemade potato or pasta salads, but if you have just 1/4 cup of no more than three of them, you can bet a 30 minute walk and getting back on schedule the next day will keep you from seeing any damage on the scale.

I've started taking my dill dip with a vegetable tray and either veggie chips or Baked Lays to each occasion. Even if no one else touches them, I know I can fill up on things guilt free so I won't be tempted to eat much of the creamy or saucy foods. Pasta salad can be somewhat nutritious (I'm working on a recipe for this summer!) but people these days are fond of adding cheese chunks, chopped ham, and corn which can all hurt your health without you realizing it. I love the new salads with gorgonzola or blue cheese chunks and craisins with nuts, but by adding too many of each or all three can make a 1/2 cup salad enough calories to be an entire meal when you are watching what you eat. Scott promises a post about deceiving side dishes which will make you think twice about not being careful when you go to the next family barbecue.

Basically, you can still enjoy barbecue even at lower calories as long as you're careful. Diet and vegetarian/vegan foods have come such a long way that there really isn't a sacrifice!

But low carb diets work better for me than cutting calories…

...or so I've heard.

When you start dieting these days, people love to tell you how you should be doing it. Here's my response to the Low-carb, high-protein advocates:

Low carb has become the new foundation for better dieting and faster weight loss. It is the go-to diet that has been around long enough to lure people into a false perception that it is not a fad diet. Low carb is perceived as an alternative to calorie counting, but what’s the truth about low carb (aka high protein) dieting?

The theory behind low carb diets begins with the truth. Carbohydrates are sugars, but remember that our bodies turn starch into sugars, too, so we get glucose readings from all kinds of high carbohydrate foods; including breads, pasta, rice, potatoes, sweets, and fruit. That’s right, many low carb diets won’t let you have fruit! Glucose provides long-term energy and if we use that energy to exercise or live actively, we will burn those carbohydrates. Back to the theory we are told that what we don’t use turns to fat in our bodies. On a high protein diet, you consume so few carbohydrates, that your body is forced to feed off the fats in your body instead of using protein or carbs. In actuality it can also feed off muscle which is why weight training is often pushed with low carb diets – so you don’t lose muscle tone and realize that the diet is hurting you. Low carb advocates would have you believe that by leaving carbs out of your diet, you’ll know you are burning fat because that’s all there is to burn for energy. Am I the only one who thinks this sounds exhausting? Our bodies are designed in a very intelligent way and if its initial instinct is to burn carbs, the idea of forcing it to burn fats seems inefficient to me. Now wonder it’s the diet of the lazy. I am not criticizing laziness because I am the first to admit that I hate exercise! I just can’t fathom feeling more energetic while taking away your body’s main source of energy.

“But it works!” is the cry of low carb dieters as they tell me how their struggle with counting calories has never worked. Why does it work? First of all, ask yourself how filling is junk food? Usually if you eat potato chips, french fries, a candy bar, or a tasty filled sponge cake treat, you enjoy the flavor while it lasts, but almost immediately want to eat more. These don’t fill you up and they certainly don’t provide a long term satisfaction. If you eat a slab of meat with a side of carrots, you’ll feel full sooner and the feeling will last longer. You have, therefore, just consumed fewer calories than most overweight people do when they indulge in delicious treats. The evidence is out there. Low carb diets cut calories, too. A person who consumes 2,000+ calories in meats, butter, and other high fat foods – also known as high protein diet approved foods – loses weight because they were consuming more than that before they started their diet. It fills the tummy quicker than high carb foods so they think they are eating more when, in actuality, they have cut their calories the same as me.

The second reason people get such “great results” on a low carbohydrate diet is that protein acts a little like a diuretic. Ever been on a water pill? What’s the first thing that happens? Several pounds drop off like they are melting and often the weight loss program you are on is enhanced so that you lose just a little more at a time than when you are not on a water pill (that is, if you take the water pill on a regular schedule). Proteins force the kidney’s to work harder which sort of washes the weight out of your body. This is not sustainable. Imagine for a moment what this does to your kidneys! Hydration becomes an issue, followed by overworking the kidneys.

Confirming the theory that the low carb diet is giving these dieters great results is that if they eat just a few carbs and cheat, they put weight on. Clearly this means that the low carbs are keeping the weight off. Let’s go back to the water pill. What happens when you stop taking them? Immediately, you gain weight. Your body needs water so flushing it out of the system with a diuretic or by eating foods with diuretic properties is not going to help the problem.

Low carb diets are also not sustainable. For people who have found success on the diet, it’s only because when they reach their weight loss goal they are willing to go back on the low carb diet often in order to maintain. I find it to restrictive and know myself well enough to know I would have trouble recommitting if even for a few days a month.

One of the most important things to consider in any diet is you. You have to be committed or no diet will work – low carb included. This means that if you are finally ready to commit to a diet full of meat, cheese, butter and often very little fruit, you are probably ready to commit to a low calorie diet that didn’t work for you before. It’s a state of mind and maybe you just weren’t ready before. Nutritionists and scientists can agree on one thing. Calories are calories whether they are protein or carbohydrate. If you burn more than your consume, you should lose weight. Yeah, that part sounds easy, but not everyone burns at the same rate so for some it might take more work or fewer calories than their neighbor which is why some people don't think they lose weight.

I suck a little because I read a resource and checked the credentials so that I could say this with inarguable clarity, but I lost the source now. Yesterday I read that a study was done where men on a low calorie diet and men a low carbohydrate diet were compared long term (not just the first week). Evidence showed that in an overall comparison, the people on both diets cut calories and both groups lost weight at the same rate.

Now comes the scary part.

That state where the body feeds on its own fats instead of carbs? That has a name. It’s a metabolic state known as ketosis and by forcing your body to burn a lot of fat instead of glucose, the body produces ketones “which can cause organs to fail and result in gout, kidney stones, or kidney failure. Ketones can also dull a person's appetite, cause nausea and bad breath. Ketosis can be prevented by eating at least 100 grams of carbohydrates a day.”²

High protein diets do provide calcium, but the more meat proteins a person consumes, minerals including calcium are leached from the bones. Now you are at risk for osteoporosis and aren’t women at enough risk as it is?

High protein = higher fats. Clog your arties and increase your cholesterol? Sounds like a great plan. This, of course, leads to heart disease…

Now the good hard facts. A balanced diet is about 40-50% carbohydrates. In my research I found plenty of sources about how little you should eat for a low carb diet and how a healthy diet has more. Eventually I stumbled across sources written by a certified nutritionist, a doctor, and a medical resource page which all recommend something in that range. Sometimes it is easier to find what we shouldn’t be eating than what we should!

It's unpopular to say these days, but I challenge the belief that Low Carb diets are the way to go. The way it should go, imo, is the way of the Tab cola and the grapefruit diet. Away.

Sources include, but not limited to:

1. Providence Health Services

2. WebMD