Open letter to all doctors everywhere
Dear Doctors everywhere,
First off, I'd like to remind you that everyone is different. I'd like to ask you not to judge a book by its cover. If you saw my test results and then came in to talk to a skinny person, the conversation would have gone much differently. You would have asked questions and let that person be a part of their health plan.
I have never been afforded such dignity.
It is my feeling that at least half of what comes out of your mouth should be questions. The other half can be advice, but the questions should come first and if the advice discounts the questions, then let me remind you to always listen to your patient's answers!
Do not assume. It makes an ass of only YOU in this situation.
Also, the BMI has been discounted as an acceptable gauge to determine healthy weight in adults by nearly the entire scientific community EXCEPT DOCTORS. Maybe you should go back to test results. I'll grant you that my weight is a problem, but my friend is barely above the anorexic looking weight she used to be and was told she is obese at her last appointment. She looks good, she's healthy, and she's super active. My brother in law runs every day, looks super healthy, and everyone assumes he is, but his BAD Cholesterol is through the roof AND his GOOD Cholesterol is extremely low. His doctor does not make him feel ashamed.
Consider that for a moment. Are you shaming your patients? Then stop it.
Now I'd like to point out that if an anorexic or bulimic person walks into your office and says he/she is depressed, you are likely to suggest therapy and sympathetic intervention. You don't just say "Eat more" or "binge less" and send them on their way, do you? No. It's well proven to be about mental health (control issues ARE mental health problems, people!)
So why are fat people not considered as possibly having a root cause? No. It's just lack of will power. That's dismissive. I think anorexic people lack will power to look in the mirror and be okay with themselves. (Whether I really believe that or not is beside the point. You see where I'm going with that argument, right?)
And when I mentioned in my appointment that I lost a bunch of weight, got depressed, and gave up, why did that not alarm you? Frankly, it should have. Frankly, I've considered suicide at least a dozen times in the last two years. Frankly, I don't know how to ask for help because when I do, people tell me losing weight is the answer.
But it wasn't the fucking answer.
Sincerely,
Patients everywhere (especially the overweight, chubby, fat, and obese ones)
Showing posts with label doctor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label doctor. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Reboot 2014
Why wait until New Year's? The holidays will be rough, but this isn't about weight loss or anything. I'm here reminding myself not to lose control, though. It's a problem.
Doctors
I'm not afraid of doctors. I simply hate them. I find them arrogant, narrow-minded, and judgmental.
Case in point. Bio screen turned up blood pressure that was actually high enough to scare me. Trust me. That is beyond scary for a normal person. So, made an appointment with a doctor. We had to hunt down a new doctor because I didn't like that last one I had, the one before that, or, actually, any doctor I've ever had (except the OB/GYN my sister recommended who turned out to be awesome, but who cannot, of course, help with this problem.)
So, I go to this new guy. Blood pressure was down a little from last week. Good. Not quite so scary. Still securely in HYPERTENSION ALERT! category, not just "concerning". He was nice. Really nice. Great guy. Seemed smart.
He looked at me, made a judgement, and then began talking arrogantly as though he knew my life, and then when I tried to explain things, he narrow-mindedly pursued his judgement. He started by saying "If you add salt to your food..." Okay, a good doctor starts with "Do you add salt to your food?" Because the answer is no. I have pretty much NEVER added salt to my food. So I tell him this and then say I look for low sodium soups and when I make homemade soup, I buy low sodium broths. I say I realize they still have a lot, but I don't have them often. Then he says "well, those soups have a lot of salt. So do lunch meats. Pretty much any processed foods." Again, did he ask what I eat regularly? Did he really acknowledge that I already knew they had sodium, but I don't eat them often? No. So he talks about salts in processed foods, none of which I eat, btw. I have lunch meat, like, once a month and soups maybe once a week in the winter.
I could go on, but basically the whole appointment went this way. He didn't ask me ANY questions. he just talked AT me. I had to interrupt him to tell him I had lost a bunch of weight, but I had surgery, got depressed, gave up, and gained back most of the weight. He said "because fad diets don't really work. You just gain it back." Well, y'all here know it wasn't a FAD diet! Right!? It was so insulting!
So he put me on a water pill to flush my system of water and sodium hoping that will help. Well, I do hope it helps because it's cheap and it's not something your body adjusts to so that you can never get off of it like other blood pressure meds, but a part of me hopes it doesn't work so I can say "See? It wasn't just about the sodium!"
I asked him about side effects and he mentioned peeing a lot and such so I specifically asked about potassium because that's usually a concern with water pills and he said "it's a good idea, but this one's pretty mild" so I'm thinking okay. We'll see.
But I just know, KNOW that when I go in next week that he's going to be all proud of the weight I've lost. Notice he did not mention that side effect, but it will happen. I just wonder if he's going to try to spin it like "doesn't that make you want to lose more?"
Oh yeah, and he never asked me if I get any exercise. He just lectured me about how getting out for even 10 minutes at a time if that's all I can handle will do a world of good.
I wonder if he walks 1 1/2 - 2 miles every day. We walk a minimum of 30 minutes if we don't know the distance we're going (we do the mile and a half in about 30 minutes at home) which sometimes includes hills or terrain that slows us down. Either way, it was rather narrow-minded of him to assume 10 minutes might be hard for me, don't you think?
Refocusing my efforts
Btw, the rest of my test results are on the high to mid level green HEALTHY so kiss my grits, everyone who thinks fat automatically equals UNhealthy!! Based on weight alone, they say I'm a risk. This is my frustration. It's the things like cholesterol and blood glucose that should be putting you in "high risk", right? Not the weight ALONE? Okay, the BP, but they referenced the weight first in my report.
As I said, I'm not really going for weight loss, though, but once in a while I've been letting myself lose it a little. I'm going to slow down and enjoy. I want to feel better so I can do more, but I have this foot injury that's been slowing me down a lot. It's getting better, but I am reminded of my age by how long it is taking.
I'm recording all my stuffs on SparkPeople. It didn't work for me before, but I had already been doing great on my own. I feel like maybe it will be easier to reboot with the app's assistance and I figure maybe I can record what I eat (I'm not really changing my eating habits this week. I want a week to gauge myself.) and the sodium is low, I can stick it in his damned face.
$$$$!!!
Not to mention, I was a new patient so they wouldn't count it as preventative care? WTF! $105 later for him to listen to my breath sounds and insult me. Plus come back in one week after charting my BP and taking the water pill to see how it's going. Probably another $105.
I miss $30 co pays right now.
And if he says I have to come back in another week, I will tell him to Fuck Off and I'll leave.
Doctors
I'm not afraid of doctors. I simply hate them. I find them arrogant, narrow-minded, and judgmental.
Case in point. Bio screen turned up blood pressure that was actually high enough to scare me. Trust me. That is beyond scary for a normal person. So, made an appointment with a doctor. We had to hunt down a new doctor because I didn't like that last one I had, the one before that, or, actually, any doctor I've ever had (except the OB/GYN my sister recommended who turned out to be awesome, but who cannot, of course, help with this problem.)
So, I go to this new guy. Blood pressure was down a little from last week. Good. Not quite so scary. Still securely in HYPERTENSION ALERT! category, not just "concerning". He was nice. Really nice. Great guy. Seemed smart.
He looked at me, made a judgement, and then began talking arrogantly as though he knew my life, and then when I tried to explain things, he narrow-mindedly pursued his judgement. He started by saying "If you add salt to your food..." Okay, a good doctor starts with "Do you add salt to your food?" Because the answer is no. I have pretty much NEVER added salt to my food. So I tell him this and then say I look for low sodium soups and when I make homemade soup, I buy low sodium broths. I say I realize they still have a lot, but I don't have them often. Then he says "well, those soups have a lot of salt. So do lunch meats. Pretty much any processed foods." Again, did he ask what I eat regularly? Did he really acknowledge that I already knew they had sodium, but I don't eat them often? No. So he talks about salts in processed foods, none of which I eat, btw. I have lunch meat, like, once a month and soups maybe once a week in the winter.
I could go on, but basically the whole appointment went this way. He didn't ask me ANY questions. he just talked AT me. I had to interrupt him to tell him I had lost a bunch of weight, but I had surgery, got depressed, gave up, and gained back most of the weight. He said "because fad diets don't really work. You just gain it back." Well, y'all here know it wasn't a FAD diet! Right!? It was so insulting!
So he put me on a water pill to flush my system of water and sodium hoping that will help. Well, I do hope it helps because it's cheap and it's not something your body adjusts to so that you can never get off of it like other blood pressure meds, but a part of me hopes it doesn't work so I can say "See? It wasn't just about the sodium!"
I asked him about side effects and he mentioned peeing a lot and such so I specifically asked about potassium because that's usually a concern with water pills and he said "it's a good idea, but this one's pretty mild" so I'm thinking okay. We'll see.
But I just know, KNOW that when I go in next week that he's going to be all proud of the weight I've lost. Notice he did not mention that side effect, but it will happen. I just wonder if he's going to try to spin it like "doesn't that make you want to lose more?"
Oh yeah, and he never asked me if I get any exercise. He just lectured me about how getting out for even 10 minutes at a time if that's all I can handle will do a world of good.
I wonder if he walks 1 1/2 - 2 miles every day. We walk a minimum of 30 minutes if we don't know the distance we're going (we do the mile and a half in about 30 minutes at home) which sometimes includes hills or terrain that slows us down. Either way, it was rather narrow-minded of him to assume 10 minutes might be hard for me, don't you think?
Refocusing my efforts
Btw, the rest of my test results are on the high to mid level green HEALTHY so kiss my grits, everyone who thinks fat automatically equals UNhealthy!! Based on weight alone, they say I'm a risk. This is my frustration. It's the things like cholesterol and blood glucose that should be putting you in "high risk", right? Not the weight ALONE? Okay, the BP, but they referenced the weight first in my report.
As I said, I'm not really going for weight loss, though, but once in a while I've been letting myself lose it a little. I'm going to slow down and enjoy. I want to feel better so I can do more, but I have this foot injury that's been slowing me down a lot. It's getting better, but I am reminded of my age by how long it is taking.
I'm recording all my stuffs on SparkPeople. It didn't work for me before, but I had already been doing great on my own. I feel like maybe it will be easier to reboot with the app's assistance and I figure maybe I can record what I eat (I'm not really changing my eating habits this week. I want a week to gauge myself.) and the sodium is low, I can stick it in his damned face.
$$$$!!!
Not to mention, I was a new patient so they wouldn't count it as preventative care? WTF! $105 later for him to listen to my breath sounds and insult me. Plus come back in one week after charting my BP and taking the water pill to see how it's going. Probably another $105.
I miss $30 co pays right now.
And if he says I have to come back in another week, I will tell him to Fuck Off and I'll leave.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Hope
Health
For those who hadn't heard yet, Scott's last doctor's appointment went very well. The doctor took him off of the diuretics (water pills) and without that he didn't need the potassium pills. He suggested that Scott may not need the metformin any more, but after blood tests he decided to leave him on because it will aid in the continuing weight loss. He was told he didn't need the compression socks constantly anymore so he can wean himself off of them. It's worth all the work for the money and hassle you save on medication!
Weight
I think I'm officially over my block. Inching up on the 60 lbs off line now and I had to buy a belt just to keep my pants from falling off when I walk. Yeah, I should just get new pants, but that costs money and as long as I can still get some wear out of the now-huge things I own, I'm going to try to milk it as long as possible. Still, it feels like I'm wearing skirts on each leg...
I haven't asked Scott for a couple of days, but I think he's lost another 10 lbs, too. Sometimes the progress feels very slow, but I have to remember to look back to the beginning.
Delusions
Part of me has known this all along, but the important part of my brain refused to process. For the first many years of our marriage, Scott and I would go out to eat. I'd pick a gyro (which is usually under 500 calories) and he'd get a pastrami burger (which we now know is usually 1200+) I'd get the chicken sandwich and he'd buy the triple stack with bacon. In general I ate better than he did - not that this is a race - but when we first started eating better together, I thought I generally ate healthier than he did so therefore I was healthier. Relative term, right, because if I sat next to a vegan, I'd look like the greasy pig. The point is, you can be healthier, yet still not healthy. Basically I was doing superb at maintaining weight, but a little work to be even healthier in eating and exercise habits was definitely in order.
In the end, though, it's not a contest to be the healthiest person or the most informed when it comes to food. It's a personal journey and I do grow tired of it feeling like weight loss is a group activity...
...unless, of course, you're in it together with the person.
Eating out
We tend to go with large chains because it's easier to get an accurate calorie count. Keep in mind, though, that because of small changes in preparation and location, nutrition information on the internet can be a little off. I tend to round up whatever I order just in case.
burgers
You've heard the amusing quote "some days it's not worth chewing through the straps"? Well, I admit it. Some days it's like chewing on a strap to gnaw on carrots when all you want is a french fry.
This weekend, I craved a burger like mad. I don't even like beef very much, but it felt like the only thing that would taste good.
Well, for under 600 calories, we put together a little meal at Wendy's which was totally delicious and satisfying. First, order the HALF size Apple Pecan salad, but make them keep the pecans. The pecan packet is 110 calories so if you desire the pecans, you must skip the second part of the meal. About half of one pomegranate vinaigrette pouch is enough to coat the salad, but you still come in under the 600 if you use the whole thing. Delectable salad, I assure you!
Second, order the Jr. bacon (yes! bacon!) cheese (and cheese!) burger, but make sure you ask them to hold the mayo! This is a good tip wherever you go because you can save 50-100 calories just by asking them to leave the mayo off. Moisturize your sandwiches with mustard instead for no calories or carbohydrates. If you only have 500 calories to spare for dinner, use no more than half of the dressing packet on your salad and request that they hold the lettuce and tomatoes as well. You will go over 500 slightly, but not as much as if you leave those things intact. Btw, you can order these together in a Pair 2 special for just $5.
chinese
Panda Express can be a friend. Anything with tempura batter, noodles, or rice will be packed with calories so look for something more vegetable heavy. Order steamed veggies instead of rice or chow mein, then enjoy delicious entrees like beef & broccoli, mushroom chicken, black pepper chicken, potato chicken, or veggie spring rolls. I recommend a bowl with just one entree, but sometimes you can afford enough calories to splurge.
I know, however, that all that crispy delightfulness and sauce on the orange chicken or sweet and sour from some other place are what I'm really craving so those dishes don't really fill the bill (except the veggie spring rolls. I do love those!) Instead I bought the Panda Express orange chicken sauce from the store and then I carefully measure 2 Tbsp on a grilled chicken breast. For a larger dish, stir fry the grilled chicken with some "free" veggies and then add the sauce. Keep the food calories low since the sauce is 70 calories per 2 Tbsp.
Another way to enjoy sweet and sour style chicken is to get the nuggets at Chick-Fil-A and choose Polynesian sauce. 8 nuggets and one packet of sauce is just 370 calories. Top off the meal with a medium fruit (70 calories) and it satisfies. I know several places have reasonable nuggets and offer sweet and sour sauce, but I really find the Polynesian and the way they make their nuggets are more satisfying for the Chinese feel than any other.
mexican
Green taco sauce has less than 5 calories (many of them like the ones we keep on hand in the fridge these days are 0 calories) so it's a great thing to add to any dish to make it feel more Mexican. For me, I've found that going to Taco Bell is a favorite. Fresco Tacos are less than 200 calories each (the burritos are over 300) so I order 2 of the chicken ones at 150 each. If I'm especially hungry and have enough calories, I tack on one Nacho cheese steak gordita for 260 and come in under 600.
For those who hadn't heard yet, Scott's last doctor's appointment went very well. The doctor took him off of the diuretics (water pills) and without that he didn't need the potassium pills. He suggested that Scott may not need the metformin any more, but after blood tests he decided to leave him on because it will aid in the continuing weight loss. He was told he didn't need the compression socks constantly anymore so he can wean himself off of them. It's worth all the work for the money and hassle you save on medication!
Weight
I think I'm officially over my block. Inching up on the 60 lbs off line now and I had to buy a belt just to keep my pants from falling off when I walk. Yeah, I should just get new pants, but that costs money and as long as I can still get some wear out of the now-huge things I own, I'm going to try to milk it as long as possible. Still, it feels like I'm wearing skirts on each leg...
I haven't asked Scott for a couple of days, but I think he's lost another 10 lbs, too. Sometimes the progress feels very slow, but I have to remember to look back to the beginning.
Delusions
Part of me has known this all along, but the important part of my brain refused to process. For the first many years of our marriage, Scott and I would go out to eat. I'd pick a gyro (which is usually under 500 calories) and he'd get a pastrami burger (which we now know is usually 1200+) I'd get the chicken sandwich and he'd buy the triple stack with bacon. In general I ate better than he did - not that this is a race - but when we first started eating better together, I thought I generally ate healthier than he did so therefore I was healthier. Relative term, right, because if I sat next to a vegan, I'd look like the greasy pig. The point is, you can be healthier, yet still not healthy. Basically I was doing superb at maintaining weight, but a little work to be even healthier in eating and exercise habits was definitely in order.
In the end, though, it's not a contest to be the healthiest person or the most informed when it comes to food. It's a personal journey and I do grow tired of it feeling like weight loss is a group activity...
...unless, of course, you're in it together with the person.
Eating out
We tend to go with large chains because it's easier to get an accurate calorie count. Keep in mind, though, that because of small changes in preparation and location, nutrition information on the internet can be a little off. I tend to round up whatever I order just in case.
burgers
You've heard the amusing quote "some days it's not worth chewing through the straps"? Well, I admit it. Some days it's like chewing on a strap to gnaw on carrots when all you want is a french fry.
This weekend, I craved a burger like mad. I don't even like beef very much, but it felt like the only thing that would taste good.
Well, for under 600 calories, we put together a little meal at Wendy's which was totally delicious and satisfying. First, order the HALF size Apple Pecan salad, but make them keep the pecans. The pecan packet is 110 calories so if you desire the pecans, you must skip the second part of the meal. About half of one pomegranate vinaigrette pouch is enough to coat the salad, but you still come in under the 600 if you use the whole thing. Delectable salad, I assure you!
Second, order the Jr. bacon (yes! bacon!) cheese (and cheese!) burger, but make sure you ask them to hold the mayo! This is a good tip wherever you go because you can save 50-100 calories just by asking them to leave the mayo off. Moisturize your sandwiches with mustard instead for no calories or carbohydrates. If you only have 500 calories to spare for dinner, use no more than half of the dressing packet on your salad and request that they hold the lettuce and tomatoes as well. You will go over 500 slightly, but not as much as if you leave those things intact. Btw, you can order these together in a Pair 2 special for just $5.
chinese
Panda Express can be a friend. Anything with tempura batter, noodles, or rice will be packed with calories so look for something more vegetable heavy. Order steamed veggies instead of rice or chow mein, then enjoy delicious entrees like beef & broccoli, mushroom chicken, black pepper chicken, potato chicken, or veggie spring rolls. I recommend a bowl with just one entree, but sometimes you can afford enough calories to splurge.
I know, however, that all that crispy delightfulness and sauce on the orange chicken or sweet and sour from some other place are what I'm really craving so those dishes don't really fill the bill (except the veggie spring rolls. I do love those!) Instead I bought the Panda Express orange chicken sauce from the store and then I carefully measure 2 Tbsp on a grilled chicken breast. For a larger dish, stir fry the grilled chicken with some "free" veggies and then add the sauce. Keep the food calories low since the sauce is 70 calories per 2 Tbsp.
Another way to enjoy sweet and sour style chicken is to get the nuggets at Chick-Fil-A and choose Polynesian sauce. 8 nuggets and one packet of sauce is just 370 calories. Top off the meal with a medium fruit (70 calories) and it satisfies. I know several places have reasonable nuggets and offer sweet and sour sauce, but I really find the Polynesian and the way they make their nuggets are more satisfying for the Chinese feel than any other.
mexican
Green taco sauce has less than 5 calories (many of them like the ones we keep on hand in the fridge these days are 0 calories) so it's a great thing to add to any dish to make it feel more Mexican. For me, I've found that going to Taco Bell is a favorite. Fresco Tacos are less than 200 calories each (the burritos are over 300) so I order 2 of the chicken ones at 150 each. If I'm especially hungry and have enough calories, I tack on one Nacho cheese steak gordita for 260 and come in under 600.
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