Why wait until New Year's? The holidays will be rough, but this isn't about weight loss or anything. I'm here reminding myself not to lose control, though. It's a problem.
Doctors
I'm not afraid of doctors. I simply hate them. I find them arrogant, narrow-minded, and judgmental.
Case in point. Bio screen turned up blood pressure that was actually high enough to scare me. Trust me. That is beyond scary for a normal person. So, made an appointment with a doctor. We had to hunt down a new doctor because I didn't like that last one I had, the one before that, or, actually, any doctor I've ever had (except the OB/GYN my sister recommended who turned out to be awesome, but who cannot, of course, help with this problem.)
So, I go to this new guy. Blood pressure was down a little from last week. Good. Not quite so scary. Still securely in HYPERTENSION ALERT! category, not just "concerning". He was nice. Really nice. Great guy. Seemed smart.
He looked at me, made a judgement, and then began talking arrogantly as though he knew my life, and then when I tried to explain things, he narrow-mindedly pursued his judgement. He started by saying "If you add salt to your food..." Okay, a good doctor starts with "Do you add salt to your food?" Because the answer is no. I have pretty much NEVER added salt to my food. So I tell him this and then say I look for low sodium soups and when I make homemade soup, I buy low sodium broths. I say I realize they still have a lot, but I don't have them often. Then he says "well, those soups have a lot of salt. So do lunch meats. Pretty much any processed foods." Again, did he ask what I eat regularly? Did he really acknowledge that I already knew they had sodium, but I don't eat them often? No. So he talks about salts in processed foods, none of which I eat, btw. I have lunch meat, like, once a month and soups maybe once a week in the winter.
I could go on, but basically the whole appointment went this way. He didn't ask me ANY questions. he just talked AT me. I had to interrupt him to tell him I had lost a bunch of weight, but I had surgery, got depressed, gave up, and gained back most of the weight. He said "because fad diets don't really work. You just gain it back." Well, y'all here know it wasn't a FAD diet! Right!? It was so insulting!
So he put me on a water pill to flush my system of water and sodium hoping that will help. Well, I do hope it helps because it's cheap and it's not something your body adjusts to so that you can never get off of it like other blood pressure meds, but a part of me hopes it doesn't work so I can say "See? It wasn't just about the sodium!"
I asked him about side effects and he mentioned peeing a lot and such so I specifically asked about potassium because that's usually a concern with water pills and he said "it's a good idea, but this one's pretty mild" so I'm thinking okay. We'll see.
But I just know, KNOW that when I go in next week that he's going to be all proud of the weight I've lost. Notice he did not mention that side effect, but it will happen. I just wonder if he's going to try to spin it like "doesn't that make you want to lose more?"
Oh yeah, and he never asked me if I get any exercise. He just lectured me about how getting out for even 10 minutes at a time if that's all I can handle will do a world of good.
I wonder if he walks 1 1/2 - 2 miles every day. We walk a minimum of 30 minutes if we don't know the distance we're going (we do the mile and a half in about 30 minutes at home) which sometimes includes hills or terrain that slows us down. Either way, it was rather narrow-minded of him to assume 10 minutes might be hard for me, don't you think?
Refocusing my efforts
Btw, the rest of my test results are on the high to mid level green HEALTHY so kiss my grits, everyone who thinks fat automatically equals UNhealthy!! Based on weight alone, they say I'm a risk. This is my frustration. It's the things like cholesterol and blood glucose that should be putting you in "high risk", right? Not the weight ALONE? Okay, the BP, but they referenced the weight first in my report.
As I said, I'm not really going for weight loss, though, but once in a while I've been letting myself lose it a little. I'm going to slow down and enjoy. I want to feel better so I can do more, but I have this foot injury that's been slowing me down a lot. It's getting better, but I am reminded of my age by how long it is taking.
I'm recording all my stuffs on SparkPeople. It didn't work for me before, but I had already been doing great on my own. I feel like maybe it will be easier to reboot with the app's assistance and I figure maybe I can record what I eat (I'm not really changing my eating habits this week. I want a week to gauge myself.) and the sodium is low, I can stick it in his damned face.
$$$$!!!
Not to mention, I was a new patient so they wouldn't count it as preventative care? WTF! $105 later for him to listen to my breath sounds and insult me. Plus come back in one week after charting my BP and taking the water pill to see how it's going. Probably another $105.
I miss $30 co pays right now.
And if he says I have to come back in another week, I will tell him to Fuck Off and I'll leave.
Showing posts with label supportive behaviors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label supportive behaviors. Show all posts
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
What to do?
What do you do when you realize that you are back at the beginning?
We're still walking every day; great. I know I've chastised myself a lot on my eating behaviours, but they aren't quite as bad as they were, I don't think. I eat really bad once or twice a week, but I was eating badly for every meal, every day, with unhealthy snacks in between. Now, at least, I eat totally healthy Monday through Friday from morning until dinner. Last week, Jane was out of school for a week and I took her out to lunch twice, then we had our bad habits weekend and I felt like such total crap Sunday night - I'm still recovering! I know I could have eaten that way every day 5 years ago and been just fine.
I shouldn't chastise the 'him' in this program, but I am so incredibly frustrated! Several evenings lately, I've cooked a healthy dinner. He goes back for seconds and thirds; what was once our leftovers for a second night or lunches the next day which means the next day, new food.
The logistics here is that when you go on a diet, we know people say a concern when you're on a tight budget is the cost of healthy foods. I totally agree, but if you moderate the amounts of food and stop buying junk food, it sort of evens itself out.
Now, we haven't been eating fantastic for a while, but we've still been doing okay. After last grocery trip, I was a little upset about the bill and have been monitoring the household ever since. This made me notice that 'he's eating healthy foods, sure, but having large amounts. This is what led to buying cheap, fatty foods the first time around!
And I'm having flash backs. There were so many times I tried to eat healthier - not necessarily offering half a plate of veggies and a tiny serving of meat, but I would only prepare a decent size meal for each of us instead of enough for a small army. (This was an adjustment for us both coming from households of 7-8 kids...) If I prepared only that much, he'd go back and make something else to eat. Often in smelled good and I'd eat it too, bad on me, but I don't do that now. I just stew in frustration because the grocery bill goes up and the only way I know to bring it back down is to fall back to those things you can buy that are more junk for less money.
I'm also seeing that there are lots of nights when we end up eating out because I'm tired or he won't help me make a decision on dinner until fast food comes into the list of possibilities. I'm just exhausted. I begged him last night to help me make good choices. I mentioned that I was really tired and had a headache (this is not a common complaint so I don't think I deserved to be sidelined. Even on the rare occasion I have a headache, I usually don't mention it and I try not to act like it.) I tried making dinner and getting feedback from him about chicken or spaghetti and he sat there like a bump on the log until I asked where the coupons went. I was looking for shopping coupons I needed to put away, but he finally moved, grabbed the restaurant coupons, and started participating in the choices. I chose something I happened to know was pretty okay, but the habit of going out to eat HAS to stop!
Since we started this whole venture, he has gotten a new job and a raise so now we can afford to go out more than we could and frankly I can still afford to buy that healthy food in higher portions I mentioned above, but it's not like we're so well off that those choices don't end up affecting other things we can buy. We did frugal for so long, that now I could use a new vacuum, washer, dryer, and I recently splurged on a broom, but now that we could put money aside, we find ourselves eating out more. How can I win?
I'll give up flavor sometimes for a simple chicken tender and salad meal. He doesn't flat out complain, but he makes it clear that it's too much green, not enough food, and not enough flavor by drowning in sauces, eating all the leftovers, then poking around the fridge for something else to eat.
Sideways observation: You see those people on TV sometimes who are so large and they don't get out of bed. Someone brings them 15 cheeseburgers just for lunch and that person gets blamed for enabling. Some other day, you see some couple and she's saying "he calls me fat and tells me what to eat" - usually you find out those weren't his exact words, but he claims he is just trying to help her, lovingly, and the response is typically "you don't tell someone you love that they are fat. You don't imply it or hint at it." Because that doesn't help. They don't feel like doing something about it if you say something negative. So what to do? According to psychologists as well as the public response I've observed on those lame "healthy living" newcasts and articles I've been reading online; we don't tell they they are fat, don't point out their bad habits, and don't enable them. Seriously. That's what I am trying to do, but it's affecting ME. We're married. It's bullshit to say that you have to do it for yourself if you're in a relationship with someone with BAD HABITS. It's unrealistic and just continues the problem. There's got to be a solution, but I can't seem to find it.
I just feel like it's a major regression. I'm trying and trying to make improvements, but I am met with grumpy resilience until I concede or, if I'm determined enough not to concede, I have to drum up the strength to face it again tomorrow and every day after. It's what made me give up on asking him to go walking until he had a health scare and it's what made cooking for myself difficult for years. It's also what makes me depressed and tired all the time.
We're still walking every day; great. I know I've chastised myself a lot on my eating behaviours, but they aren't quite as bad as they were, I don't think. I eat really bad once or twice a week, but I was eating badly for every meal, every day, with unhealthy snacks in between. Now, at least, I eat totally healthy Monday through Friday from morning until dinner. Last week, Jane was out of school for a week and I took her out to lunch twice, then we had our bad habits weekend and I felt like such total crap Sunday night - I'm still recovering! I know I could have eaten that way every day 5 years ago and been just fine.
I shouldn't chastise the 'him' in this program, but I am so incredibly frustrated! Several evenings lately, I've cooked a healthy dinner. He goes back for seconds and thirds; what was once our leftovers for a second night or lunches the next day which means the next day, new food.
The logistics here is that when you go on a diet, we know people say a concern when you're on a tight budget is the cost of healthy foods. I totally agree, but if you moderate the amounts of food and stop buying junk food, it sort of evens itself out.
Now, we haven't been eating fantastic for a while, but we've still been doing okay. After last grocery trip, I was a little upset about the bill and have been monitoring the household ever since. This made me notice that 'he's eating healthy foods, sure, but having large amounts. This is what led to buying cheap, fatty foods the first time around!
And I'm having flash backs. There were so many times I tried to eat healthier - not necessarily offering half a plate of veggies and a tiny serving of meat, but I would only prepare a decent size meal for each of us instead of enough for a small army. (This was an adjustment for us both coming from households of 7-8 kids...) If I prepared only that much, he'd go back and make something else to eat. Often in smelled good and I'd eat it too, bad on me, but I don't do that now. I just stew in frustration because the grocery bill goes up and the only way I know to bring it back down is to fall back to those things you can buy that are more junk for less money.
I'm also seeing that there are lots of nights when we end up eating out because I'm tired or he won't help me make a decision on dinner until fast food comes into the list of possibilities. I'm just exhausted. I begged him last night to help me make good choices. I mentioned that I was really tired and had a headache (this is not a common complaint so I don't think I deserved to be sidelined. Even on the rare occasion I have a headache, I usually don't mention it and I try not to act like it.) I tried making dinner and getting feedback from him about chicken or spaghetti and he sat there like a bump on the log until I asked where the coupons went. I was looking for shopping coupons I needed to put away, but he finally moved, grabbed the restaurant coupons, and started participating in the choices. I chose something I happened to know was pretty okay, but the habit of going out to eat HAS to stop!
Since we started this whole venture, he has gotten a new job and a raise so now we can afford to go out more than we could and frankly I can still afford to buy that healthy food in higher portions I mentioned above, but it's not like we're so well off that those choices don't end up affecting other things we can buy. We did frugal for so long, that now I could use a new vacuum, washer, dryer, and I recently splurged on a broom, but now that we could put money aside, we find ourselves eating out more. How can I win?
I'll give up flavor sometimes for a simple chicken tender and salad meal. He doesn't flat out complain, but he makes it clear that it's too much green, not enough food, and not enough flavor by drowning in sauces, eating all the leftovers, then poking around the fridge for something else to eat.
Sideways observation: You see those people on TV sometimes who are so large and they don't get out of bed. Someone brings them 15 cheeseburgers just for lunch and that person gets blamed for enabling. Some other day, you see some couple and she's saying "he calls me fat and tells me what to eat" - usually you find out those weren't his exact words, but he claims he is just trying to help her, lovingly, and the response is typically "you don't tell someone you love that they are fat. You don't imply it or hint at it." Because that doesn't help. They don't feel like doing something about it if you say something negative. So what to do? According to psychologists as well as the public response I've observed on those lame "healthy living" newcasts and articles I've been reading online; we don't tell they they are fat, don't point out their bad habits, and don't enable them. Seriously. That's what I am trying to do, but it's affecting ME. We're married. It's bullshit to say that you have to do it for yourself if you're in a relationship with someone with BAD HABITS. It's unrealistic and just continues the problem. There's got to be a solution, but I can't seem to find it.
I just feel like it's a major regression. I'm trying and trying to make improvements, but I am met with grumpy resilience until I concede or, if I'm determined enough not to concede, I have to drum up the strength to face it again tomorrow and every day after. It's what made me give up on asking him to go walking until he had a health scare and it's what made cooking for myself difficult for years. It's also what makes me depressed and tired all the time.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Happy Accidents and Annoying Struggles
Why is this extra delicious?
When we started our diet ages ago, I pretty much cut peanut butter out of my diet. I love it immensely, but when calculating the amounts, I just didn't get enough long term satisfaction and often felt pretty hungry before dinner came along. In actuality, I cut out tons of sauces, jams, and the like and started eating most foods plain (and often kind of bland) because those were calories I could spend better elsewhere.
Then we went off the extreme diet and tried to just eat healthy. I'd have a good old pb&j (with less j than the old days and still on low cal bread) or I'd just have it on an apple slice or banana so I could still enjoy the flavor. The point is, this made PB last months in our house. I buy at Costco - 2 large jars. I bought them a year ago and we just ran out last month so I picked up a regular jar at Target thinking it would last anyway.
Well, last week, I cut up and apple, doled out 2 tablespoons of peanut butter, and had it with coffee for breakfast. Holy cow. I thought "Is this what fresh peanut butter tastes like? Were those jars older than I realized?" So tasty! I knew I had the same brand and had picked up creamy as usual. Next morning, I had it on banana and could not get over how delicious it tasted.
Third day, I'm making a pb&j for Jane's lunch (we only do it about once a month or so because kids don't need all the sugar either, right?) and I look at the jar. Huh. Did they redesign the package? It seems a little less blue. Nope. It's 25% less fat - and by this, about 50 calories less per serving!
Long story to say that I love love love when you think something tastes better and then realize it's better for you!
Full Disclosure
People often ask if we've lost more weight. Simple question, but by now you've probably guessed it's kind of a pet peeve. Frankly, it's no one else's business. Mostly I buck up and admit we haven't, but we're trying to maintain. Sometimes they say that's great, as long as you're not gaining.
But the secret is I do gain. And lose. And go back on the diet and fall off the wagon and up and down. It's about a 10 pound fluctuation so it's not really anything to be concerned about, but I'd really like to go down down down. Who wouldn't? The stupid thing is I'll be doing great on the diet, lose a little, then get depressed before I fall off the wagon. You'd think depression would come after? Maybe my hormones are still off from the surgery last year, but... that's eighteen months ago.
Either way, I'm super frustrated and feeling again like there's no support. When Scott wanted to lose weight, I supported him; just like when he wanted to go back to school and the time he wanted to change jobs after 16 years at one company. Where's my support? Not to complain because I've been appreciating him a lot more recently, but... when it comes to this, we can both stand to lose. His balance isn't awesome at all, he's not very flexible, and he still gets winded if we speed walk - three things that are not true for me so on the overall health, it seems like I've got less work to do.
Well, anyway, now I'm high on frustration because I've been counting calories, working out extra, been very careful for two weeks now. Just weighed myself and lost 1 pound. In two weeks of feeling very stressed and working really hard, that number changing so slightly makes me angry and frustrated. I don't know what to do to increase. Yeah, I should be happy about one pound, but I can't be when I'm working as hard as I was when I was able to lose an average of 2 pounds a week - and the first weeks I lost more because of the change in diet so why isn't it working?
I guess because we weren't going way way overboard, but honestly the last couple of months, we have. Makes me tired. It also makes me want to hole up in the house whenever someone asks if I've lost more weight. I mean, the fact that we did is obviously proof that we can and as we know, everyone else gets to decide my happy weight (insert 'sarcasm' sign here) so please. Ask me about it more. It's the only thing I am of value; my weight.
Off to do my first workout of the day, now, and try not to get discouraged.
When we started our diet ages ago, I pretty much cut peanut butter out of my diet. I love it immensely, but when calculating the amounts, I just didn't get enough long term satisfaction and often felt pretty hungry before dinner came along. In actuality, I cut out tons of sauces, jams, and the like and started eating most foods plain (and often kind of bland) because those were calories I could spend better elsewhere.
Then we went off the extreme diet and tried to just eat healthy. I'd have a good old pb&j (with less j than the old days and still on low cal bread) or I'd just have it on an apple slice or banana so I could still enjoy the flavor. The point is, this made PB last months in our house. I buy at Costco - 2 large jars. I bought them a year ago and we just ran out last month so I picked up a regular jar at Target thinking it would last anyway.
Well, last week, I cut up and apple, doled out 2 tablespoons of peanut butter, and had it with coffee for breakfast. Holy cow. I thought "Is this what fresh peanut butter tastes like? Were those jars older than I realized?" So tasty! I knew I had the same brand and had picked up creamy as usual. Next morning, I had it on banana and could not get over how delicious it tasted.
Third day, I'm making a pb&j for Jane's lunch (we only do it about once a month or so because kids don't need all the sugar either, right?) and I look at the jar. Huh. Did they redesign the package? It seems a little less blue. Nope. It's 25% less fat - and by this, about 50 calories less per serving!
Long story to say that I love love love when you think something tastes better and then realize it's better for you!
Full Disclosure
People often ask if we've lost more weight. Simple question, but by now you've probably guessed it's kind of a pet peeve. Frankly, it's no one else's business. Mostly I buck up and admit we haven't, but we're trying to maintain. Sometimes they say that's great, as long as you're not gaining.
But the secret is I do gain. And lose. And go back on the diet and fall off the wagon and up and down. It's about a 10 pound fluctuation so it's not really anything to be concerned about, but I'd really like to go down down down. Who wouldn't? The stupid thing is I'll be doing great on the diet, lose a little, then get depressed before I fall off the wagon. You'd think depression would come after? Maybe my hormones are still off from the surgery last year, but... that's eighteen months ago.
Either way, I'm super frustrated and feeling again like there's no support. When Scott wanted to lose weight, I supported him; just like when he wanted to go back to school and the time he wanted to change jobs after 16 years at one company. Where's my support? Not to complain because I've been appreciating him a lot more recently, but... when it comes to this, we can both stand to lose. His balance isn't awesome at all, he's not very flexible, and he still gets winded if we speed walk - three things that are not true for me so on the overall health, it seems like I've got less work to do.
Well, anyway, now I'm high on frustration because I've been counting calories, working out extra, been very careful for two weeks now. Just weighed myself and lost 1 pound. In two weeks of feeling very stressed and working really hard, that number changing so slightly makes me angry and frustrated. I don't know what to do to increase. Yeah, I should be happy about one pound, but I can't be when I'm working as hard as I was when I was able to lose an average of 2 pounds a week - and the first weeks I lost more because of the change in diet so why isn't it working?
I guess because we weren't going way way overboard, but honestly the last couple of months, we have. Makes me tired. It also makes me want to hole up in the house whenever someone asks if I've lost more weight. I mean, the fact that we did is obviously proof that we can and as we know, everyone else gets to decide my happy weight (insert 'sarcasm' sign here) so please. Ask me about it more. It's the only thing I am of value; my weight.
Off to do my first workout of the day, now, and try not to get discouraged.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Update
Yes, we've been neglectful. We've actually been back onto good eating habits along with continuing our walks for the last few weeks. My scale broke, but if my pants are an indication, I've lost at least a few little pounds.
Back on track
Things that are hard to get back to resisting: baking (I so LOVE to bake!), putting sauces on food to make them more palatable, and choosing butter OR jam for toast; not both. In comparing stories, I hear much about how people think they are eating better, but can't lose weight. One thing I notice on counting calories is they skip counting cream in coffee, butter on toast, etc, etc. So, this is my official statement to remind people, you must count everything that passes your lips, even if they are hanging on to something else like a little parasite. Low fat, low calorie dressings still add calories to your salad. Nuts may contain good fats, but also a lot of calories. Adding croutons, nuts, raisins, OR bacon bits to a salad can make it more tasty. Adding all of them makes it a hamburger (from the calorie perspective.)
It's all about choices and when you are confining yourself to a strict diet of difficult choices, it makes other things easier to avoid. Today I thought I might treat myself to that leftover cupcake from book club last week. I kept it covered, but took a bite and...it was tasty, but a little dry. Not delectable so I realized that in my moment of weakness I was about to sell out several hundred calories for that disappointment and I threw it away. If I'm going to have a goodie, it better be melt in the mouth, taste-bud party delicious. Otherwise I'll save it for a reliable tasty goodness like my favourite creamer in coffee or a little cheese on my tomato bisque lunch.
Other things: I turned on TV the other day to while away some time while making a Halloween decoration only to be confronted by a certain TV doctor (from over the rainbow?) who I regard highly, but who I do disagree with on rare occasion, touting the evils of artificial sweeteners. Look, I know they aren't good for you, but I still say if you are trying to lose weight, unless you are the rare breed who can change their life completely overnight and not be tempted by anything, then it's a lesser evil. In order to make the whole diet thing doable, I, personally, being a human being with thoughts, feelings, temptations, and weak moments, must have one treat a day to get me through. For me, it's diet soda. Sure I'd do better if I quit the soda, but that's unrealistic. Asking someone to be 100% perfect in how they eat and how much the exercise is the unrealistic bit. For some people, having nutra sweet makes them crave MORE sweets so if that's the case, they shouldn't use this substitute. No one can do our exact diet because it wouldn't work for someone else.
Anyone who wants to eat healthy must hear the news every day and consider becoming anorexic because it's impossible to make sense of one study after another. That being said, This TV Dr. mentioned the cancer risks associated with artificial sweeteners and this bothered me. Just because you've heard something for decades doesn't make it true. The fact is the one study showing cancer risks to mice in the 70s has been dis-proven hundreds of times. I lost the article with the exact numbers, but I assure you it was a reputable source. Besides, artificial sweeteners do not affect diabetes or tooth decay. (I thought it did, but according to a New York Times article comparing sweeteners, they do not! Good to know!)
I have some to realize that the knowledge we gain in high school health class is like basic math. It's find for everyday life, but in order to solve REAL problems (like imbalance, losing weight, gaining weight, making up for allergies, etc) you need to know Calculus Nutrition. I'm becoming a bit more Algebraic Nutritionist with all my research, but the way I live and eat day to day is more remedial. I just feel so bombarded with information saying whatever choice you make is the wrong choice. It's completely overwhelming! Of course, the information they fill our heads with is maintaining perfect nutrition. If you're off, you'll need to compensate, and if you need to lose weight, well, forget it. There really is, imo, no way to lose weight and still eat everything you're supposed to eat. Still, it's better than OVEReating bad fats so I'll only defend the choices to a point.
When you are in a group, especially with women, there will always be that person who has the answer to your problems, too. If you tell them you are doing everything, they will have the key to why you aren't losing weight. They can be wrong, but still convinced because it is what worked for them. There are the ones who convince you it's easy if you just hit the right formula or do this one trick they know.
It does get easier, I'll give them that, but it's not easy. I repeat, is in not easy. Not at any point, and especially at the jumping off point. I think it's the combination of too much BAD information from sources people trust (the news, TV doctors, and uninformed physicians - who act like experts, but let's keep in mind they are required to stay refreshed on their specific specialty and between that, patients, and a personal life are unlikely to become armchair experts in anything else like nutrition), pressure from friends and family, people who make it sound like your social obligation to be thin, and people who make it all sound so easy that sets many people up for failure when it comes to weight loss. At some point, just close your eyes, point, commit to a plan, and follow it no matter what else you learn along the way. Of course if you realize you're not eating foods with potassium, you could adjust your diet to include bananas or if you have low iron, it might be good to pile on spinach to the salad or eat more meat, but every time a study pops up or someone tells you you are doing it wrong is not enough reason to quit or sabotage the plan.
Workouts
Last note, a few weeks ago I was told about a webpage <a href="http://www.skimble.com/">Skimble</a>. It has a great variety of workouts and it's easy to find what you need to focus on. It is designed as a smart phone app, but for those of us who like our phones stupid, it's still easy enough to navigate and do in front of the computer screen. We walk 7 days a week, but I do my other workouts 2-3 times a week (my goal is 3-4, but I have to be proud of every little accomplishment these days!) and I have found mixing these in keeps it lively. Not all require equipment, but many do. It's just another nice resource.
Back on track
Things that are hard to get back to resisting: baking (I so LOVE to bake!), putting sauces on food to make them more palatable, and choosing butter OR jam for toast; not both. In comparing stories, I hear much about how people think they are eating better, but can't lose weight. One thing I notice on counting calories is they skip counting cream in coffee, butter on toast, etc, etc. So, this is my official statement to remind people, you must count everything that passes your lips, even if they are hanging on to something else like a little parasite. Low fat, low calorie dressings still add calories to your salad. Nuts may contain good fats, but also a lot of calories. Adding croutons, nuts, raisins, OR bacon bits to a salad can make it more tasty. Adding all of them makes it a hamburger (from the calorie perspective.)
It's all about choices and when you are confining yourself to a strict diet of difficult choices, it makes other things easier to avoid. Today I thought I might treat myself to that leftover cupcake from book club last week. I kept it covered, but took a bite and...it was tasty, but a little dry. Not delectable so I realized that in my moment of weakness I was about to sell out several hundred calories for that disappointment and I threw it away. If I'm going to have a goodie, it better be melt in the mouth, taste-bud party delicious. Otherwise I'll save it for a reliable tasty goodness like my favourite creamer in coffee or a little cheese on my tomato bisque lunch.
Other things: I turned on TV the other day to while away some time while making a Halloween decoration only to be confronted by a certain TV doctor (from over the rainbow?) who I regard highly, but who I do disagree with on rare occasion, touting the evils of artificial sweeteners. Look, I know they aren't good for you, but I still say if you are trying to lose weight, unless you are the rare breed who can change their life completely overnight and not be tempted by anything, then it's a lesser evil. In order to make the whole diet thing doable, I, personally, being a human being with thoughts, feelings, temptations, and weak moments, must have one treat a day to get me through. For me, it's diet soda. Sure I'd do better if I quit the soda, but that's unrealistic. Asking someone to be 100% perfect in how they eat and how much the exercise is the unrealistic bit. For some people, having nutra sweet makes them crave MORE sweets so if that's the case, they shouldn't use this substitute. No one can do our exact diet because it wouldn't work for someone else.
Anyone who wants to eat healthy must hear the news every day and consider becoming anorexic because it's impossible to make sense of one study after another. That being said, This TV Dr. mentioned the cancer risks associated with artificial sweeteners and this bothered me. Just because you've heard something for decades doesn't make it true. The fact is the one study showing cancer risks to mice in the 70s has been dis-proven hundreds of times. I lost the article with the exact numbers, but I assure you it was a reputable source. Besides, artificial sweeteners do not affect diabetes or tooth decay. (I thought it did, but according to a New York Times article comparing sweeteners, they do not! Good to know!)
I have some to realize that the knowledge we gain in high school health class is like basic math. It's find for everyday life, but in order to solve REAL problems (like imbalance, losing weight, gaining weight, making up for allergies, etc) you need to know Calculus Nutrition. I'm becoming a bit more Algebraic Nutritionist with all my research, but the way I live and eat day to day is more remedial. I just feel so bombarded with information saying whatever choice you make is the wrong choice. It's completely overwhelming! Of course, the information they fill our heads with is maintaining perfect nutrition. If you're off, you'll need to compensate, and if you need to lose weight, well, forget it. There really is, imo, no way to lose weight and still eat everything you're supposed to eat. Still, it's better than OVEReating bad fats so I'll only defend the choices to a point.
When you are in a group, especially with women, there will always be that person who has the answer to your problems, too. If you tell them you are doing everything, they will have the key to why you aren't losing weight. They can be wrong, but still convinced because it is what worked for them. There are the ones who convince you it's easy if you just hit the right formula or do this one trick they know.
It does get easier, I'll give them that, but it's not easy. I repeat, is in not easy. Not at any point, and especially at the jumping off point. I think it's the combination of too much BAD information from sources people trust (the news, TV doctors, and uninformed physicians - who act like experts, but let's keep in mind they are required to stay refreshed on their specific specialty and between that, patients, and a personal life are unlikely to become armchair experts in anything else like nutrition), pressure from friends and family, people who make it sound like your social obligation to be thin, and people who make it all sound so easy that sets many people up for failure when it comes to weight loss. At some point, just close your eyes, point, commit to a plan, and follow it no matter what else you learn along the way. Of course if you realize you're not eating foods with potassium, you could adjust your diet to include bananas or if you have low iron, it might be good to pile on spinach to the salad or eat more meat, but every time a study pops up or someone tells you you are doing it wrong is not enough reason to quit or sabotage the plan.
Workouts
Last note, a few weeks ago I was told about a webpage <a href="http://www.skimble.com/">Skimble</a>. It has a great variety of workouts and it's easy to find what you need to focus on. It is designed as a smart phone app, but for those of us who like our phones stupid, it's still easy enough to navigate and do in front of the computer screen. We walk 7 days a week, but I do my other workouts 2-3 times a week (my goal is 3-4, but I have to be proud of every little accomplishment these days!) and I have found mixing these in keeps it lively. Not all require equipment, but many do. It's just another nice resource.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Help, Advice, and things better left unsaid...
So I have taken a slight cut back on the diet and exercise recently, but I have been maintaining my weight.
I have a gentleman at work that keeps checking in with me on my progress once to twice a week.
I explained to him that I wasn't really losing and that I was maintaining my weight just fine.
BTW this is a person that has given me advice that I "should" follow the entire time. I have usually just ignored him, because what I am doing is working for me and as long as it is working I don't really need the advice on things that I need to change. A helpful suggestion on a tasty low cal meal is one thing (really appreciate those), but trying to design my methods for me is completely another.
Any how, when he finds out that I am not significanlty trying to lose weight he starts to tell me that I can't give up, what I need to do to keep focuses, and what my end result weight should be.
Now I am trying to figure out when I appointed him and my goal setter, cheer squad, and dietition. Still can't.
Enough was enough, I and finally asked him "When did my target weight become your desicion? When were you appointed to be the person to make my health habits? Finally, when can I have that responsibility back to me all me?" (He hasn't talked to me for over a week).
Morale of the story, be supportive of those that you care about and have made the choice to change the health and diet, but resist the urge (strongly resist) to worry about our diets. We don't expect you to change your meals when we're coming over to dinner. We can figure it out if we have a high cal meal or eat too much. Please continue to be who you are that is why we love you. It's when you become over bearing and start worrying for us or think that you have the right to make our choices for us that it crosses a line.
I sincerly mean this in the most loving way that I can, but sometimes the lines have to be defined so we don't offend you and you don't offend us!
I have a gentleman at work that keeps checking in with me on my progress once to twice a week.
I explained to him that I wasn't really losing and that I was maintaining my weight just fine.
BTW this is a person that has given me advice that I "should" follow the entire time. I have usually just ignored him, because what I am doing is working for me and as long as it is working I don't really need the advice on things that I need to change. A helpful suggestion on a tasty low cal meal is one thing (really appreciate those), but trying to design my methods for me is completely another.
Any how, when he finds out that I am not significanlty trying to lose weight he starts to tell me that I can't give up, what I need to do to keep focuses, and what my end result weight should be.
Now I am trying to figure out when I appointed him and my goal setter, cheer squad, and dietition. Still can't.
Enough was enough, I and finally asked him "When did my target weight become your desicion? When were you appointed to be the person to make my health habits? Finally, when can I have that responsibility back to me all me?" (He hasn't talked to me for over a week).
Morale of the story, be supportive of those that you care about and have made the choice to change the health and diet, but resist the urge (strongly resist) to worry about our diets. We don't expect you to change your meals when we're coming over to dinner. We can figure it out if we have a high cal meal or eat too much. Please continue to be who you are that is why we love you. It's when you become over bearing and start worrying for us or think that you have the right to make our choices for us that it crosses a line.
I sincerly mean this in the most loving way that I can, but sometimes the lines have to be defined so we don't offend you and you don't offend us!
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