It's May, it's May, the lusty month of May

Or, at least, this post encompasses the month of May in an overall view.

First, May is the month of my birthday and our anniversary. I didn't have high hopes for weight loss to begin with. Additionally, the stress of my health issues made eating well very difficult. Temptation all around and stress made me weak - very very weak.

Overall I've lost only 5 lbs the entire month, but I think that's pretty good considering all factors. The reason it's noteworthy, though is because I went up and down a lot throughout the month.

I ate amazing food from Winger's where I learned something. Their wings and wraps are still savory. The asphalt pie was as delicious as ever, but after just a few bites, I had enough. I've had people tell me that after a while, you don't even want those "bad" foods. In a few cases that is true, but mostly I find that now my taste buds are sensitive enough and my brain is focused enough that just a few bites of those foods we love are enough. After all this time, I can go to a party and see all those dishes I love and, because it's a rare occasion, take just a small spoonful of each item and not see it on the scale.

Reminder: dieting is not about taking things away! It is about enjoying the smaller amounts of things you love. Just keep that in mind.

As for exercising, it's been hard. Several days I was in too much pain or bleeding too much to go walking. I tried to push through walks on several occasions, but I felt sluggish and thought I must not be doing enough. I tried to push through a 5K with my husband and his mom, but barely made it to the 4K marker. From there it got worse. I thought I needed sleep. Maybe it was allergies? Maybe I needed to exercise more in order to get more energy throughout the day. Maybe... Oh. The doctor called. Normal hematocrit (blood levels in the body) is 40. They start transfusions at 25. Mine was 15. THAT is when everything clicked into place.

The point of that story is to remind you to take care of yourself. Eating differently can mess up certain levels. I was playing it loose with my supplements and iron pills. I had trouble exercising and that is something that has become important to me. The fact that I couldn't go for a walk should have been a clue. If you are starting out and exercise is hard, that's just more reason to do it. If you've been doing well for a while and now it's hard, it's time to re-evaluate or see a physician. That's my advice anyway.

When I left the ER, my hematocrit was still just 23. I was given a stern warning that while my levels would increase slightly over the next few hours and that I needed to take iron pills and boost myself, I had no reserves so I had to be careful. Well, since I spent the whole day in the ER, I felt I deserved another break from reality so we went to Chuck A Rama. I devoured anything and everything with protein and iron. I did include beans and lean beef so that I wouldn't gorge on that delicious fried chicken I love, but I still ate a lot. Next morning I jumped out of bed early, got Jane off to school,cleaned the kitchen, then did an energetic mile and a half in less time than we've ever done the route. The whole weekend we walked quite a bit extra, quickly, and got a lot of work around the house done that I hadn't had energy to do lately. I feel pretty normal now - normal for myself, but those first few days I was just burning energy like a bunny because I felt better than I had in months.

Challenge: workout every day for at least 20 minutes if physically possible. Find the time. Even if you have no energy, get outside and enjoy the fresh air with a casual pace. Go to a party or event and don't count calories. Just take a small amount of the foods you like and enjoy yourself. While we are counting calories and minutes of exercise, then justifying everything as trying to be healthy, we can lost focus of ourselves. It's not worth it if you can't enjoy life.